the mystical life..

2008-07-27T18:45:00.004+08:00

Okay. I am doing this with a heavy heart, but it seems like http://mystical-warrior-x.blogspot.com is coming to an end.

It has been almost 3 years, I guess this blog has recorded how i grew, and in a way, help me grow as well.

But its time to move on. I will always remember this friend, and come back to visit it from time to time, to reflect and to continue growing.

Thank you for the memories. =) inveterate vicissitudes.

2008-06-15T16:38:00.001+08:00

Birthday wishes are a special thing, wouldnt you agree? It comes only once in a year, one wish per cake. And then you have to wait for another year all over again. You see the point is if one was rich, one could go to star gazing spots all over the world to try to see a shooting star; or one could visit all of Europe to find authentic wishing wells, change a thousand dollars into coins and toss them infinitely into the water. But even if you had money, the best you could do is to fly against time to extend your birthday, and you would probably have to blow out the candles in the very plane itself, with meaningful company not included.

So with something so precious, what could one wish for? 19 opportunities has since passed me by. To be reallistic, birthday wishes for age 1 and 2 were probably almost impossible. Unless one was a child prodigy, which I am not. But as I grew up, though not vividly, I can vaguely recall the kind of wishes I made.

As a child, the world would revolve around oneself. Incessant selfish thoughts, even in early teenage years, that would probably be the case. I wish for that toy car, I wish for that toy train, I wish for that power rangers action figure. Then it would probably be like I wish for that mobile phone, that mp3 player, and materialistic ideas like that. Probably some of the wishes would not be so materialistic anymore but still selfish, say more freedom yada yada.

This year, there could be many things I could wish for. The iPod classic, or as my friend reminded me, the pink IC (or instant ORD =X). But I guess its a show of maturity, in recent years, wishes were not for myself anymore. I wished for my family most often I guess. But it struck me this year the reason I could have birthday wishes. And hence this year it was slightly different.

Birthday wishes are only possible because there are people who love you to celebrate with you. And it is only right to return the love, to wish for them back. And this year I did. And it feels like the best thing I could have done.

So, what will your next birthday wish be?

2008-06-08T20:16:00.002+08:00

Short post. Running late. =x Okay this weekend wasnt so different as it was supposed to be. As in, the activity wasnt as different as it was supposed to be lah. Cause the badminton plans were off, so it was another movie weekend.

Kungfu panda was good lah. Funny. But short. And kids. Ate the place with free flow icecream and drinks again. Root beer float and cappucino float. =) The one at suntec is called onlynoodles. The one at dhobyxchange is called onlyacia. I wonder what are the chances its the same company. Lol. 99.99%

Today, I finally finished watching A Walk To Remember. I know its hell of a old movie, but I didnt watch movies back then. So yes finally, and yeah its a good movie. Boring starting, but touching at the end. And I love the songs. Went to the library planning to find the book but no luck.

Anyway, I think I successfully replaced a guitar string. It wasnt so hard after all. The plan next week is to do the other 5. Plans. Hehes.

Now for a slack week ahead.

2008-06-01T17:55:00.002+08:00

Hello June! =)

Lol. Just a random post. Since theres nothing much to say this weekend. Which means things are going good, as usually my posts are not very happy.

Caught What Happens in Vegas yesterday. Was pretty good I guess, another no brainer laughable movie. Dinner was a wreck as everywhere was crowded. But finally got to eat at cartel. That being said, Cartel@RafflesCity should hire better staff man.

Interestingly, being a blood donor gave me free tickets to the zoo on my birthday. But oh well, see if I can be bothered to breathe in natures smell on the day. Its just another option lol.

Age 19 is coming soon. =S

2008-05-24T18:04:00.002+08:00

From crashing dumb tea parties to free food, from yummy waffles to bad-tasting popcorn, from kebab in taco to cheese sausages without cheese inside, from popcorn chicken to an auntie dropping popcorn chicken on the floor, from boon lay to bugis, from scrumtious JCo donuts to supermarket sprees.

It was short but a good bookout. Trying out a new outlook. Be happy when you bookout and dont think about army, or booking in, or whatever. But I still felt down when I had to leave. Gah. Book in lo.

2008-05-19T18:43:00.002+08:00

No matter how many times I have done it, every book in still seems the same. No matter how long the week ahead, no matter what is on the agenda, its still the same feeling of dread.

I hate walking around the supermarket myself. I hate it because its when I am all alone looking for a little something to make my week ahead somewhat better. I hate it when the supermarket sucks and has a small collection of sweets and snacks. I just wasted my time outside just now. =(

Ack. It has almost been 5 months now. I still feel the very same since the moment I stepped into this. And I suddenly recall why I chose not to go to command school. The precise emotions, the apparent weakness within. Sigh. 539 days! Thats like forever!!!!!

2008-05-19T14:35:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was great. At least I got to see most of the people again. What we did was not important I guess, even when we were just sitting around at that random place, it was still beautiful.

Sigh. Good times are never enough I guess. All that I feel for the weeks ahead is dread. Dread of losing my freedom again. And that burnt weekend. Not being able to have time out.

I will miss you people. =(

2008-05-17T14:49:00.004+08:00

The block leave is gone, in a blink of an eye. Perhaps I have been sleeping far too much, but yes the 3 days are over. But I guess it was rather okay. Block leave is not as wonderful as it sounds actually. People are either in army or working. Thankfully there are the people at poly, and also the unemployed (though they should really get a job soon), and thats about how I spent my block leave.

Day 1 was really about staying at home, lets call it reorientation back to a civilian life. And thats about what I did. Got my rest. Played PSP. Got used to using a computer on a weekday. And stuff like that. Though I would rather prefer to be out and about. =X Its called planning I guess. Staying at home abit so that I can go out more. Pleasing the folks.

Day 2 was an extension of day 1. Stayed at home pretty much. Today was sec school friends day, for old times sake. But I guess being at poly doesnt exactly mean they would be very free too. So it was only in the late afternoon that I left home. Didn really do much, but it was good catching up time. I must say I laughed more in 1 night then I did in a week at the army. Denan was super high, and for a good reason I guess. Just want to wish you good luck with the new commitments. =)

Day 3 was a finally a day that started early and right. Finally got to watch my $6 movie at Cathay Downtown East. And yes good movie too, Made of Honor is funny, nice songs, nice nice nice. Okay lah. Perhaps I am exaggarating but I am deprived most of my life so dont blame me. The rest of the day was kind of boring, the girls talking about their work and their stuff, but it was okay lah. At least I was not at home. Met Kenneth, Yonghuang, Leayee and Lixian for dinner. So it ended off pretty well. At least I got to see loads of people that I havent seen for a damm long long time. 2 weeks only actually. But hell it seems like forever.

So its over, but heck I got 2 and a half days more to go. Tomorrow seems fun, celebrating of May birthdays, though there isnt much of a plan yet. But been a long time since everyone was together. Hope all will be there.

2008-05-11T16:50:00.003+08:00

6 days and many mosquito bites later, my longest week ever in unit is finally over. It sucked but its finally over. Only got to go home this morning and I need to go back tonight. =( Besides that, I cannot really figure how the mosquitoes at the guard room never get full. I have like easily 30-40 bites all over my body and its very itchy. Crappers. And the programme of the week was super draggy, kind of reminded me of old days. But yeah, now all I have to do is go through 2 days and what I have been waiting for will just arrive.

[ A sign of insecurity I guess, or more like in present conditions, it was more of an admittance of my weaknessto myself, the inability to accept the facts. It was not a virgin encounter definitely, dreams of this variety, though this time, it was one of escalated magnitude.

The fear, the helplessness, the familiar emotions. It felt so realistic, so possible, and yes, painful. It was the first time I was glad to wake up to realise I was in camp instead of that dreadful position. But then the harder reality hit me. It was 4.38am. ]

But on the good side, I guess this saturday duty was the best deal I could get. At least I got too book out on friday for a few hours, while other people have to stay in on friday nights for saturday duty. Didnt get to go home, but had a good meal and then went for a little walk with my dad at Vivocity. Was kind of nice cause I cant really remember the last time I did something like that.

Besides, I had a new game to play throughout the whole saturday afternoon. So I guess it was pretty bearable besides the lack of sleep. But then again, this time it was with all the people I know. Next next sunday, I cannot imagine. But that is a long time later. I know what I have to look forward to now. BLOCK LEAVE! 6 days of freedom. Geez I am excited, especially since I didnt see the peeps this weekend.

Just 2 days.

2008-05-04T15:46:00.006+08:00

The same place, the same fashion sense, the same people and the same activity. Nogalstic. Yet so much has changed. The roles have changed. The one doing the physics questions was no longer the student worried about her own future but a tutor whose concern was the future of her tutees. The jazzy beats that used to air were now replaced with sentimental love songs.

The same teeshirts and shorts but now some of us sported red hair while some concealed their crop in caps. The time frame was still short but the urgency now was not how many questions we could complete for the day but when we could move on to entertain ourselves and indulge in quality time that came all too seldom now. It has only been six months.

Half a year is neither long or short. Yet the world will continue to go pass. In these months, we sat through the painful A levels and got back the results. The tears were shed, the efforts were rewarded, and now some of us have even gotten our university placings.

In these months, our girls have joined the workforce. Meekly and slowly at first but now it is but part and parcel of life. They have shed their uniforms for office wear and dread going to work every morning.

For the boys, all of us have finally bid goodbye to our pink identifications. We have traded our blue uniforms for green ones and we wear name tags just like in primary school. Apprehensive and not knowing what to expect, we joined the force. Now we are in different places. Some officers to be, some specialists, others normal men. Regardless where we are, we dread waking each morning.

Different places, different experiences, same feelings.

I guess thats why we are still together. And I am glad for that. Glad that though I once lost my hair, and now it has almost grown back to its former glory, we are still tight.

Some things just dont change do they? =)

Yet other things that should change remain too...

=============================================

Sorry for that. I just had to post something not so direct after just writing the words so plain like black on white for previous weeks. So I thought why not make use of my rested mind to whip up something warped. Hahas.

Okay, and here the plain words start again. My brothers party was quite cool. It was of a gathering of his close friends I guess. Something I would probably prefer in future, since I am not much more of a social animal compared to him. Anyway, some of his friends are quite on, and I got to see some of the bowling seniors too. Funny how people who were once normal students could hold high ranks in the army now. It just suddenly strikes me that all the NSFs are all the same actually. And yes my brother had so many presents lah. So cool. And his cake was damm nice too. But I am lazy to post pictures. Hehe.

So I didn get to watch ironman on thursday due to the party. Didnt get to meet Terence or Shuting this week. Watched a movie yesterday but it was crap. And spent loads of time just chilling around. But it was good time as usual. The plans for Kenneths and Leayees birthdays are getting me excited. Cause it has been so long since we had good fun. Sigh. Whatever the plans are, I am sure they will be good.

From a short week to a super long one, and super dreadful one too. First things first, 2 guard duty in one week is not cool. Especially so since one is on Saturday. Double not cool. Secondly, having guard duty right after IPPT is so like retarderSAUR. I be probably stoning during duty. Sleeping and sleepwalking. Rawr.

Oh well the consolation is that the following week is a 2 day week. Block leave week! I need to look forward.

And I sure hope I get a silver this time for IPPT. Jump alvin JUMP!

2008-04-27T17:08:00.004+08:00

The week ahead looks nice. 3 day short. Kudos to 1 day leave on friday, leaves me to go to my brothers party in peace, but yes shucks its leave, as if 14 was a big number to start with. But yes 3 days, it be over before I know it.

Hmms. First thing first, I failed IPPT! 9cm to pass and 18cm to that bloody silver. I hate SBJ you know. 18cm and I would have booked out at 4pm last friday. Oh well. Im just hoping theres no RT till the next IPPT. I dont need to burn another weekend. Rawr!

Aikes. At least life is pretty sweet to me now. With all the leave around the corner, I dont think I will get army blues for a while. But in the long run, expanding so much leave in 1 month doesnt seem very brilliant. Oh well. I have no say in this anyway.

I havent really been getting much entertainment these weekends. Its more or less walking around and just chilling. Movie didnt work out yesterday. I finally picked up my GV card though. With that and SAFRA card, GV is going to be a preferred cinema for a while.

Decided to head to downtown east for pool, but who knows, its closed down. So yes, no entertainment. But oh well, got to check out e!hub anyway. There will be pool there soon but not yet. Its really a brilliant place. Gives a very genting cross terminal 3 feeling, less the low celling. But what the hell, NewYorkNewYork, bowling alley, cathay, pool and lan, its going to be a pretty neat hang out for a while, 5 mins from home. Wow!

Pictures of the Cadbury ferris wheel thingy.

I can forsee myself going there pretty often in future. For the entertainment I need. Please some entertainment next weekend okay? Pool, movie or Jurong Swimming Complex pleasseeeeee!!!

2008-04-20T13:52:00.004+08:00

The weeks are getting longer, and the weekends shorter. It sorts of reminds me of days in bmt again. Perhaps its due to the longer days, and the dragging of admin time, now that there is stuff at night. Its just so much better to sleep early and end the day earlier.

Sigh. But I know I cannot sink into some kind of emotional mess again. Cause this time the shit will only end in 568 days. Perhaps I was just tired. It is really shitty cause I realised how uninterested I was when I went out with the people yesterday, when they used to be my source of strength. Maybe sometimes all I need is sleep.

Well I guess I had enough of the rest now. And yes I do feel slightly better, slightly more ready. The week ahead will hopefully be more interesting, cause the week before wasnt, super repetitive and stuff. Yes it will be. Rawr. And I will survive. Just 4 more weeks to block leave. And I can have fun for 6 whole days.

On a random note, I want to go suntanning and become black black black. When are we going to jurong swimming complex guys?
Sigh. I must not be selfish.

2008-04-13T19:54:00.003+08:00

Short book outs. It sounds crappy but trust me its not. Well it was pretty fun at least. But yeah, I get to see those at camp everyday of the week. Splendid.

The week ahead seems lousy. And going back with a uncomfortable stomach doesnt seem too helpful. Well I just hope it gets better soon. This is not a week to be sick definitely. =S

Then again I will be having music and games this week, in addition to books, so perhaps this week will be better then last. And yes no confinements too I hope. How dumb to go in with a battery-less mp3 player last week. Zzz.

So will it be a good week or a bad one, we will find out. I hope its the former.

2008-04-05T23:59:00.003+08:00

In all fairness, I guess its my own bad, but I finally see it all too clearly. But still, does it matter? Like the twinkling of a star, it will be ever so charming. How will one not marvel at the splendour? How will one dip ones head when up above, its majestic? How will one resist raising ones hand to play pretend that one can grab the star, when millions of kilometres of cold night sky spans in between in reality?

Twinkle twinkle little star.

2008-03-30T14:35:00.004+08:00

Koped this from a freshies blog. Lmao. Guess its a way to take the rest of the 589 days in good humour.

Anyway, things are different now, for the better I guess. And I hope it just gets better. Im better equipped for the upcoming week too. Books, food, yada yada. 7 weeks to block leave. Lol.

2008-03-22T21:10:00.000+08:00

The wind of change is blowing once again. Actually, it blows all the time, in little breezes, making differences in ones life little by little. Its so minor that you dont notice even after reflecting on the days activities. Yet when you look back in a greater scope, you feel the wind, a strong cold wind, and then you realise how much has been left behind, how much is left hanging by a thread, how much change there is in your life.

3 months has passed. And it is in these 3 months that different groups of us took different paths, not by choice definitely, but it has happened. Some of us went out to work, still meeting every week for dinner and stuff, some went to work but never met up, while some of us went to serve the nation, returning to the world only on some weekends, tired, disorientated, and unfortunately on a different frequency then those who have much more in their day then the same old shit.

These 3 months have seperated us physically, but our minds and hearts are still more or less together, having each other as priority when we are free. Yet, seregation has set in. We see less of some faces, we only hear about some, yes whether we like it or not, we are slowly losing touch.

After these 3 months, where will we go from here? For the privates, we did not see each other but we shared a common experience at least. But from now on, we will be living totally different lives. Some of us will be with the high flyers, some looking forward to a ball and a parade in 9 months, some has only 6 months of hell, while some will just need to settle in and learn to adapt for the rest of service. For the other guys, we will not be so far off in frequency in a few months time. For the girls, university life will be starting soon. New friends, new lives, new things for the heart and mind.

The tornado is approaching. Yes, I am sad. But it is all part and parcel of life. We all experienced this before. From primary school to secondary school, and from secondary school to JC. We will move on somehow, someday, somewhat. Though I am certain it will take much longer than the past times. We have all matured emotionally from those times. Friends are no longer just playmates, no longer just people to pass time with. There is this emotional attachment, though time will tell how strong it will be.

Same thoughts when I departed from secondary school to JC, true friends do not see each other every day, they may not share the same life anymore, but when we see each other, I believe that we can chat like there was never a second we did not see each other. Thats what friends are, right?

I guess I must grow stronger, cause soon, I dont know if I be bugging people by calling them from camp. I dont know if I be disrupting the rotation of their world. I am just a soldier. Like a man living on the moon, looking down on the earth, being able to radio back, but not able to go back, in a different track, a different life.

To my biggest clique so far in my life, Kenneth Leayee Fred Jungang Terence Yonghuang Jianxin Yvonnes Shuting Iris Huiling Lixian. We are just moving on in life, I guess its nothing to be sad about. But wherever we are, whatever we do, I hope that there is still this entanglement of heartstrings that one day can pull us back together every now and then, to relive the fun times, to whine about the bad ones, just to be together again. Cliche but, friends forever

I will be missing you guys.

2008-03-14T19:45:00.000+08:00

Crossroads

It is a point of time, where it is the end of many things. The end of JC, the end of A level result anxiety (though I didnt really get the jitters), end of stays at holiday resort island (thank goodness), and the end of some knitty knattys here and there. This is so cliche but I will still say it, when one door closes, another will open, somewhere, somehow. And thus ahead of me lies paths, some have already been decided, while others remain unexplored, and lies in question. The resounding query in my head, which way should I go?

The short run looks decided. I made my decisions, played my part, and now the result lies in the hands of the higher ups, people whom do not know me, neither do I know. Just armed with a piece of paper which lists the ups and downs of my stay at holiday resort. And they are going to decide my future for another 1 year and 7 months. Ironical. But that is beyond my concern now.

What is more impending is the long term plan. What can decide my future career, my future life. In front of me currently lies two apparent paths, one with a sign that reads Mechanical Engineering, the other reads Business. The former path seems more appealing, more of interest, yet it is narrow at the end, not much space to move about at all. The latter is difficult to pass at the start, yet it branches out to so much more at the end. Pros and cons galore. Who can make this decision but me? The stone in the heart.

Theres the issue about scholarships too. What is suitable, what is not. And the deadline is even nearer if I am planning to get a good one. Pressure, stress, everything. And I am still playing around, just to make the best of my block leave. Bleahs.

It will work out somehow right? It always has. Naive, but thats what I am going to be for a while.

Things have settled down more or less, its getting better I guess. I should learn to be satisfied.Though a foolish warrior still fights on, silently.

2008-02-10T16:05:00.000+08:00

Booking in in 1 hour 40 minutes time. My longest book out has gone by in a flash of an eye and ahead lies apparent obstacles and decisions. It is sort of getting normal now. Feeling crappy before book in, wandering around NTUCs to see what can make life better, then booking in to look forward to the next book out. Welcome to my life.

Confinement period the second. I dont know how much I am going to miss the people this time. A level results, come soon please.

How would I forget, not that soon.

Oh and to lovebirds, happy valentines day in advance for the coming 14th. For the free spirited, happy friendship day. =X Hahas. Have fun.

2008-02-08T00:07:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year this year is no longer just the angpows, the dong dong dong qiang music, the red and gold colours, the bak kwa, pineapple tarts etc. Its not that festive actually anymore. Maybe because I havent heard enough dong dong dong qiang music while in camp. Though its lacking in the traditional aspect this year, its so much more in other aspects. Its my longest book out since I became a soldier like OMG right?

Hmms. Oh well. In my 1+ days as a civilian I already satisfied two of my craves. Bubble tea and roti prata. Coolness. And teh peng too. And if you imagined me crouching by the road side all by myself munching, no lor. I enjoyed all this in the company of good friends. All the more enjoyable. Starting to look like a wonderful book out.

Havent done visiting yet. I guess that be tomorrow I guess. Then on chu san will be fun with all the people again. Looking forward to that. And then back to camp I guess. The weeks ahead, 2 weeks in camp. Its daunting. Plus IPPT the actual, live grenade throw, and what else field camp can bring. But oh well, I am not going to think about that yet. I must have all the fun I can have this remaining days, so I wont have regrets and I can last through field camp without getting too emo or anything.

Theres also the A levels results somewhere. Yes, I fear the results, but heck, its a book out, nothing else matters. =S

Happy lunar new year people. 恭喜发财，万事如意，年年有余，红包多多，yada yada. Lol. Yes ang pows are important.

2008-02-03T14:09:00.000+08:00

The irony of life. I was wanting to finally get to visit this holiday resort and cease the usage of my brain for a solid 2 years. Sure enough, I got it now, though it is not as brainless as I expected, but pretty brainless. Yet, all I want to do now is go somewhere else, anywhere, including school to use my brain again.

I must admit that the island is beautiful, almost too beautiful. Myriads of stars in the morning, calming waves lapping against the shore, aerial stunts by nature's flyers. Its too much of a holiday resort really. Only thing theres no holiday here.

The people here are nice, at least in my bunk section. Great for talk cock sessions. But thats about all positive here. Okay, the delightful ride on the tonner to range perhaps. The intrigue of trying my hand at new activities like shooting and stuff. Thats all.

Well, I guess I sorted out my thoughts. I am miserable that is definite, so why bother making it worse? At least this stay at holiday resort is teaching me loads more about family and friends. I used to think that I may not call home every night, used to think it is redundant, since I am stuck here anyway. But yet it has evolved into a responsibility now, to let my family know I am okay, though most of the time it is to provide me a pillar of strength.

Friends. I have got to know how much more they can be through my years of adolescence. They have turned into a reason now, a reason for me to fight all the shit I get, a reason for me to survive till bookout. A reason for me to pass IPPT this monday. I hope I can do it. But yes, I will definitely try to look them up each bookout, cause they are the reason I book out. It is the meet up every week that renews my fighting spirit. It is the little calls and messages that gets me through.

Oh well. 6 hours before I am back to being a soldier. I be strong again.

Will it really get better after 6 weeks?

2008-01-10T14:14:00.000+08:00

So this will be my last post before I start serving my nation. Before I lose my name and get called my a string of numbers. Before I kiss my pink IC goodbye and say hello to my 11b. Its all falling into place now. The harsh reality of life.

I thought alot about this post. What I should write, what I should say. What should it concern, my friends, myself, or just random spillings. Then again, why not everything? Lets just see how this flows.

Stepping into the army officially ends my school life. Ends my JC life. I sure am going to miss school. Great irony to the ramblings I wrote while stuck in school, but yes, some things only show their beauty after you are done with it. I will miss stupid stuff like drawing in lecture notes, drawing on each others lecture notes, eating cai png as a class and the stack of plates at the end, and all the nitty gritty pleasures of a JC student. Sigh. Good old days now.

So as JC ends, I will like to just say a few words to close friends I made in school, the clique. We should get a name for us you know, we know we are definitely not 06S202. We are something else. Lets get a name soon alright?

Okay lets start.

Shuting

Okay I always wanted you to be something like a sister but somehow you became my nu er so also can lor. Hmms. You are one fun person to be with, great source of laughter, whether deliberate or not, though most of the time the latter. =X I guess you inherited alot from me. Hehes. Because we have quite alot in common. Same birth month, same character thingy, and some other little things I think. Too bad you didnt inherit my intelligence and softspoken-ness (err am I soft? =S). Yah. Hmms. They all always say I bully you but I also got jaga you want lor, I think. I never bully you hor? XD Okay lah. Nu er, Papa now go army le, cannot take care of you for some time. Must learn to be not so blur, dont let people cheat you okay? And yes if possible, learn to talk softer. Hehes. Yup. Take care!

Iris
Hehes. Captain! And also my shifu for worms. And my pending mei mei. Lol. If you dont have a brother like Leayee then I wont have to think so much. =X Okay. You are quite full of crap, happy most of the time, and seem like a strong girl to me. Lol. Dont learn too much from you brother okay? He teach you wrong stuff de. Nothing much to say. Just be happy, stay happy, and hope to see you soon. =) Jiayou at work, maybe can get a desk soon. Lol.

Lixian
Hello my project work group member. The best group okay, all get As one. Yah. And also my fellow Regulus 1 member. Hehes. Okay lets see, some people call you Lay Shen but I still prefer Lixian somehow, maybe cause you introduced yourself as such. Hmms. Okay I admit I do make fun of you at times so I should apologise for that. But you should learn to relax more, dont kancheong so much, take things easy. Ya. Okay thats about all. Yup learn to relax and enjoy life. At least before school starts again. Life is already a rat race by nature. Dont have to try too hard to get ahead. We all will naturally.

Huiling
Huiling Jie Jie!! Ahh craps. Now my nu er also. Lol. Jie jie so nice to hear lor. Okay. This girl didnt inherit my good traits, learn from papa the wrong things. Lol. Okay I didnt teach her alot lor. Hmms. My fellow OGL in both Regulus and Callisto. Okay. I think I was abit afraid of this girl last time, super dominant sia her character, bossy girl. Fierce seh. But now okay le lah, though she still fierce. =X Hehes. Also my gunbound companion. Gunbound rocks lor. Lol. Okay now what to say to you. Dont need to ask you to bao zhong cause you confirm can de. Hehes. Hmms. Just enjoy life and be happy while working okay? I come surprise you at your workplace someday. Macham I go chemo. =(

Yvonne Low
Okay. This is one girl that I have loads of affilations with. Same class. Same CCA. Still not enough. Same OG in orientation 07 somemore. Really see until sian ah. =X Okay this is one girl with spunk, and it has shown in her hair colour. Lol. What other things you gonna get in red huh? Yup. And shes the official photographer of the group too. Okay lah, in other words shes the one with the camera. Fun to be with, with a dont want to lose attitude. XD Shouldnt say anymore. Hmms. Okay. What past is past, just hope that we can be good friends for a very very very long time okay? Hahas. Very long never bowl. After I come out must pei me go hahas.

Yvonne Ng
Lalala. This girl always appears happy on the outside but who knows what troubles she keep to herself. Emo girl. Learn to be truly happy okay? Hmms. Coffee addict. Funny to see you being advised by Doctor Liong. Dont drink so much lah. Bad for health. Try milo lol. Shes a nice person, always makes an effort to talk to me online hahas. Full of crap also. And yah, always gets lost. I know what to buy you for your next birthday already. How about the street directory for Singapore? And maybe malaysia too, in case you walk too far. =X Okay lah. Hmms. Take care of yourself and be happy. SMILEEEEEE! =)

Jun Gang
Okay, firstly I dont really know what colour to choose for you so I chose purple, not because of the gay connotations definitely but because its the colour of royalty? Hahas. KING you are. You are one of the first few people I know in this school, the guy in the Punggol Sec uniform which doesnt need tucking in. Hahas. And 3 months later we ended up in the same class again and became good friends after some months. You are super fun to be with, fearless of alot, always make people laugh. Hahas. Okay but you must learn not to be so brash, think before acting. Nothing much to say. Just hope that you and your girl will be in deep love for a long long time. And yeah, see you in your red baret soon. =)

Lea Yee
Hey hey! Okay this guy is a lover of green. I like green too you know but not as much as you apparently so I changed my colour scheme. Hahas. No lah. Err. Okay this boy damm naughty, always teach me all the wrong stuff lor, make me the super innocent boy polluted. =X Lol. Okay you know the truth. =S Hmms. This guy is super random, wacky and funny. Alright, what I have to say is be confident of yourself, dont need to go changing, stay yourself, cause natural is beautiful. Lol. Sounds like you gonna get a boob job. =X Alright, dont be too sad this 2 weeks before your enlistment alright. Can go find the girls, they wont reject you Im sure. Hahas.

Kenneth
Okay, this guy I been through loads of shit together. Project work, GP group. Hahas. But we made it through pretty well. Hmms. Councillors are really different. This guy is like the unofficial leader of the gang, always putting together plans, organising outings and stuff. Yup, making the tough decisions. Remember you shouting coconut cheers from LTC too. =S Hahas. And now we are going into army on the same day, shaving our heads together in some hours time. =( Hahas. Oh well. I guess we get to see each other while in Tekong too. Remember to message me about the conditions upstairs or downstairs or wherever you are. Lol.

Yong Huang
Harlo! Lols. Yong Huang the mature, stable and calm fellow among the guys. Hahas. Thats why you are the girls jie mei. Its a good thing lah. Hmms. But yes you do show the potential to be naughty too. XD Hmms. Nothing much to say, besides maybe you should learn to be more expressive, but you are doing fine. Jiayou at your jobhunting, find a job soon, or you can pei LY these 2 weeks also. Hahas. Good luck!

Terence
Okay, this guy has been really my source of survival in school. Always sitting next to him most of the time, just making JC life so much better lah. Listen to all his cok all the time, just makes life happier and easier to pass. He is very easygoing, loves having fun and abit crazy lol. Yup another guy who usually help to make the decisions. Though you have not been around much due to commitments and stuff, but you know that you are always still as close as ever. Anyway, just like to thank you for listening to my problems, and being there for me when I need it. Okay. Work hard at work, hope you get to wear jacket soon okay? And yes, quickly get your checkups over lah. Scheduled for July already sia. =S

Frederick
Lol. Kopi Zheng! The ~~black black~~ tanned guy in our group. Hmms. He seems to be the music pro, at the piano and games like O2Jam and now DJmax. Lol. Talented lah, not like me hahas. Hmms. Crazy guy who like dont need sleep whole day play mahjong, den end up walking around like zombie hahas. And yah the guy with the deep voice also lah. Hmms. Not fair lor. You should be in camp TODAY! What are you doing outside? Now he go in on the 12th. Zzz. Hahas. Okay. What to say? Sleep more, eat more and play more? Lol. Err. Ya. Stay fun and hope to see you in camp, if you are in school 1 hahas.

And thats the end of what I want to say to you people. Okay now for my own bit. Hmms. Okay the farewell dinner yesterday was very nice. The toothbrush thingy was funny la but the card very appreciated. Im touched lor. =X Make me feel like I am really going away for a very very very long time. Actually 2 weeks in army nia. Will bring the card in I suppose and will kill anyone who trys to steal it okay? Hehes.

Until now, I still have a blank mind about the army. No idea what to expect, just go there and try. Lol. Just hope I get a good officer, good bunkmates, good people, and dont see hantu. Lol. Alright thats about it for now.

Anyway, this is post 299, contrary to what I previously wrote. Blogger and its autosave crap saved my drafts that I never posted and have deleted since. I dont know if I will continue blogging. Sort of lost faith in blogging and its purpose. But nothing is extreme. We will see okay?

Just like to tell my family and friends how much I love them.

THIS MUCH!!!!!

Till a very very long time later. Ciaos

2008-01-06T14:07:00.000+08:00

Im back from my 3 days 2 night in genting/kl! And yes, well rested finally. I just woke up about half an hour ago. =X I must say that travelling with friends is a totally new experience, in a good sense of the word. Well I guess we are all young people looking for about the same things, so more gets done, and theres more fun too.

Firstly, the money for the bus was worth it I guess. The seats were really comfortable. And yeah entertainment systems too. Too bad my machine was spoilt on the way back. =(

The hotel rooms we got were great too. For the price we paid, the rooms were very much different from what I remember of genting hotels. Reasonably spacious, airy and housekeeping was efficient too. And we managed to get our connecting rooms too, though most of the time we will all be just stuck in 1 room. TV there is funny. You either get Jumanji, Stuart Little, Astro Boy or Jackie Chan Adventures on 1 channel all day. Not that that is bad. =S

The weather was good to us. The temperature there was okay, not extremely cold. But the fog there was superb on the first day and third day. Visibility was super poor. Yet on the second day, the day was very clear, which was the day we played the theme park. Cool eh? Like its specially cleared for us. Hehes.

The theme park was quite fun, especially with friends. We did super crazy stuff, like taking the flying dragon 3 times just to shout random stuff at the people eating at KFC. =X A simple ride like the tea cup can become the most crazy ride in the theme park. Spin until cannot see what is outside, and becoming very very dizzy in the process. Screaming for no reason at all. Lol. Kenneth started screaming the moment the Cyclone started moving and people in the queue actually got quite tickled hahas. And laughing through pirate ship rides. For what reason, I shouldnt say. =X

So we almost took every ride I guess. Corkscrew 3 times. Flying dragon 3 times. Pirate ship 2 times. Spinner 2 times. Cyclone 2 times. Rolling Thunder Mine Train 2 times. Tea Cup 2 times. Fun kart, Carousel, Dinosaurland, Astro Fighter, Pirate train. Didn take the space shot. Its too freaky although I had taken a similar ride before. With that height and outdoors, nah. I made it up my taking the Matahari twice okay. Its half as high, so 2 times means same height? What is Matahari? Its otherwise known as a ferris wheel. XD

And yes there is shopping at genting now. Like zomg! But I only got a tee shirt in the whole trip. I guess the trip to KL was pretty wasted since it was too rushed and with all the baggage. But hell ya the trip was great. Only thing time passed so quickly it all seemed so short. Sigh, sweet sweet memories this will be.

JC life is over for good now. And though I made similar wishes after secondary school, some friends stayed, some friends strayed, while some friends I still long to see today. But yup, I still hope that we will stay strong as friends, come out often, and have loads and loads of fun for years to come.

I didn see the stars in the sky last night. But this trip has definitely made me more happy, more ready for the challenges ahead. 4 final days of freedom. It makes me slightly apprehensive, though my mind is a blank.

Just 4 more days.

2007-12-27T22:27:00.000+08:00

Post 300. I once wanted to end this story of mine here, but we will see.

Time passes quite quickly I must say. How long was it ago that we were all still struggling under the avalanche of endless practice papers and notes? How long was it ago that we checked if we had our entry proofs before heading into that examination hall? The experience still haunts me. I suddenly recalled these last night, and I guess I did not do very well actually. But we will see. I will try not to think about it.

And yes that was not so long ago. But here I am now, a fortnight to losing my freedom once again. Not just my mental self, but the whole physical me, locked up by the laws of singapore on an island not very far away from here. Not very far, but still seperated, and seregated from the rest of normal singaporeans. I am going in with an open mind. Wonder how I will come out 2 weeks later. Shaven that is certain but who knows what else will be changed.

Well at least the days before confinement seem quite fun already. New year. Then theres the malaysia trip which I finally can go. Yay. That will be fun.

And then I can go in in peace, I hope.

2007-12-21T00:52:00.000+08:00

Back from Japan. The trip was very much an eyeopener I must say, with loads of first times. First time in the snow, first time at disneyland, first time skiing, and the list goes on. But I guess I leave this for another time.

Time is passing pretty fast I guess. Soon enough Christmas will come, followed by new year. Loads of fun, but soon the fun will be over. Theres the Malaysia trip which I dont know if I be going. More fun. But it will soon be over. Then I will go marching for no one knows how long. Pre-army blues I guess. Lol. Or I am just bored at this time of the night and listening to the wrong type of songs.

Bloody torrent is not working much for me. I am waiting forever for my first game. Yeah I have a savvy red PSP but I only have a shell now. No games. Rawr. I hate erratic speeds. One moment it made me happy at 400kbps and now its 0.bla kbps. Patience. Cant wait for the first game.

I hope I get to go Malaysia. =S

If you leave loose ends, someone might trip. Tie it together, or cut it off.

2007-12-07T22:33:00.001+08:00

Okay since I be missing for a while. People who want grad pictures

CLICK HERE!!

Zz didnt get to take with some people. =(

And between now and then, till I see you again.

2007-11-28T21:14:00.000+08:00

Scaling a mountain is no easy task. As you approach the peak, your body tires, yet your mind gets excited, giving you the much needed boost to make it all the way, all the way to the top. So much of you wants to get to the top, and you probably will reach. At the top, we bask in the fruit of our labour for the moment, perhaps admire the majestic view. And that is it, suddenly we find ourselves directionless, for any way down hill will be the same, without the anticipation, without a goal.

The A levels has come and gone, for about a week or so now. Much akin to mountaineering, I find myself with not much a thing to do, besides wasting away the month or so I got left. Well in fact its not that bad. I can finally have my fill of fun, and fun I have been having. I could have more, but theres always restrictions, like the nagging light in the parents eyes for going out too much, even before they open their mouths. Then theres the cashflow problems as well, with so many plans yet to be accomplished.

So somedays, I just stay at home, and stone. And stone. Well maybe this upcoming bout of sickness can give me an extra reason to stay home tomorrow.

Actually I have no idea what I just wrote. I just wanted to update I guess. In summary,

The A levels are over.

Thats about it.

2007-11-18T10:23:00.000+08:00

The A levels. Its almost over now, and what is over cannot be undone. One more paper to go.

I must admit that the process has been a great struggle, when the pressure gets tough, learning how to not snap is a tedious task. Life lessons. Galore. Coping with it. I am sure glad I can see the light of the end of the tunnel now.

But what lies ahead is even more uncertain, and I am even more unprepared.

There is no where else to fall when you reach the bottom, its now or never. But somethings holding me back...

2007-11-05T21:26:00.000+08:00

I feel sick.

My nose is congested. My head hurts. My stomach is queasy.

I long for sleep. Not that I have not been sleeping. Just that it has been a long time that I have not set my alarm clock. Every time I go to bed, I have to set that alarm. How long has it been, since I could just sleep as much as I wanted?

Sleep has not been that peaceful either. Formulae, equations, questions and answers have become common in my dreams recently.

I am stressed am I?

15 days to go.

2007-10-29T21:29:00.000+08:00

Here we go.

Things will be great.

22 days to freedom.

Courage

2007-10-28T21:02:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since I titled my post. And this one will be titled - Courage.

Courage. Through our lives, we have been constantly shaping and redefining its meaning. In our childhood, perhaps our parents were our heroes. They were the ones with the courage, for they seemed to know everything, and could protect us from anything possible. Then we entered kindergarten and primary school, setting foot on the path of education. Once again, our definition was editted. The uncles and aunties in uniforms seemed to be the courageous ones now, for they upheld justice and helped others. First ambitions came. I wanted to be a fireman. For it was a symbol of courage, dashing into burning buildings to save lives.

We all grow up. And soon I realised that in Singapore, the firefighting scene wasnt as exciting as the television had depicted. And once again, my opinion of courage was altered. I realised that courage came in all forms and types, and it always arose when it was needed. When 911 occured, many courageous people came forth to help. Similarly, when the Nicoll Highway collapsed much nearer to home, there were people who put their lives on the line to help people totally unrelated to them. And so I realised there was only one possibility, everybody has courage within them.

Everyone has latent courage. We were that courageous sperm who fought and won out of the many million other sperms, and we finally fertilised that egg. In fact, it takes courage just to wake up everyday, to fight the challenges that we face everyday. We have matured to fight even greater challenges and have come thus far, we have become more courageous by the day. For courage is strength, and we are growing stronger.

Come this November, many of my friends and peers will face one of the greatest challenge in our lives so far. It is inevitable to be scared. There will definitely be an inexorable quiver as we approach what we have never tried before, especially since this novelty will decide our fate. I was scared out of bed this morning. For I slept away the whole evening when I was supposed to get up to revise for a few more hours. I slept through till this morning. And I realised I had only two mere days more to go, about one now. Everyone will be afraid.

It is indeed a test of our strength, a test of our courage. Can we handle the stress? Can we handle our own crazy thoughts? Can we really do the A levels? At this point of time, it is really time to draw on our courage, and say yes. Yes to all. If we look back upon our lives, we have overcome obstacle after obstacle. And we have grown much stronger. Soon, this obstacle will be like those in our memories. We just have to believe, and we can do it.

I heard a line from a song yesterday, High by Lighthouse Family. It goes like this.

When you re close to tears remember
Some day it will all be over
One day we re gonna get so high
And though its darker than December
Whats ahead is a different colour
One day we re gonna get so high

And at the end of the day
We ll remember the days
We were close to the edge
And well wonder how we made it through
And at the end of the day
We ll remember the way
We stayed so close to till the end
We ll remember it was me and you

So my friends, do not give up. Not now, not ever. It is at times like this when we should even be stronger. Remember you are never in this alone. Lets fight this together.

To all the people out there I know taking the A levels, especially those who I have been working hard with day in day out for the past weeks, all the best for the final journey. Believe in yourselves, we all know we can do it. See you at the end of the tunnel.

You have the courage.

2007-10-13T23:51:00.000+08:00

Magnolia white clouds amidst a sky of azure blue. The field below is green and continuous, as far as the eye can see. The green and blue merges ever so seemingly at the horizon, so simply, yet at the same time with such complexity. A wonderful scene, almost perfect. Then one spots a lonely flower, a delightful shade of passion red, rendering the beauty of the rest of nature but superficial, for one now has only eyes for that stalk of intriguing loveliness.

It is just human, purely innocently human, to want to posess what is beautiful, what is lovely. And so one now wants that flower, to keep and to secure, to call it his or hers. And so one bends over, stretching out ones hand, with the thought of plucking that flower, to appreciate and admire every day, to have and to hold.

True enough, a flower may do better off after being plucked. If the right care and concern is showed, the flower may last longer, bloom even more beautifully, and bring more delight to the world. Yet, if one does not have the capability of doing do, the flower may whither sooner than it should have, and the beauty is lost.

One decides not to pluck the flower. Not yet. It is not the right time. And so one waits, preparing for the day where one is ready to pluck that flower. And time goes on.

Some time later, one finds himself back at the field. The red flower is still there, ever so beautiful. But one finds oneself as unprepared as back at the time when one first set ones eyes upon this marvel. Yet, opportunties do not come one too many times. The flower may whither tomorrow. A big storm may come and uproot the flower. Or just another passerby may have plucked it away.

If one plucks the flower, the flower may be everlasting or it could die sooner, but if one does not pluck the flower, the fate of the flower will be undecided, perhaps the flower could last for another day, perhaps not, and be gone for good.

Let fate take its path, or take fate into ones hands?

2007-10-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

I am frustrated, officially, for a multitude of reasons, though they mainly revolve around the bloody restrictions that the A levels impose on my life. There are so many things to be done, yet because of that overrated darn A levels, everything is put on hold, everything is given less priority, everything is second, everything. But can everything really be less important?

I know its silly. I do have a choice, but then again I dont. It just happens I am a paranoid little sucker for the power of paper qualification, born and raised just to get certificate after certificate. I am not like some who believe they might have another way around life, yet I am not the kind who fully embrace their need for paper comfort and throw their whole soul to the demon of books. Caught in the middle. Period.

I guess theres difficulty no matter what path you choose. I know. I just need to rant. Release some steam. I would throw out every profantity. I guess I do have such a right since all I can do is watch on now. Rawrrrrrrrr!

When will this shit be over?

2007-10-03T21:40:00.000+08:00

Time seems to be passing fast. Countdowns are everywhere. 26 days, conveniently taken off the nick of someone. Soon it will be 20 days, then 10, and slowly the fingers will move towards the palm, till the fists are balled up, no fingers left sticking out, no more days left to prepare.

Im worried, seriously. People seem to be moving on. I seem stagnant. I see how people complete practice papers, while I get stuck at the first few questions. I see how even people I though were slackier than me have done more than me. Complacent? No I am not. I wouldnt be worrying if I were.

Im just caught in the middle. I need my own time. I would prefer my own time. But here I am going to school everyday for lectures everyday absorbing lesser than I can imagine. Why not skip school then? Why everyone else seems to be hitting college and I need group study. I am a troublesome person I know.

Actually I wonder if doing okay for this prelims is good or not. I feel like I am where I do not belong. My grades have placed me far higher than I think I actually am. While everyone can do that deductive question, I find myself cowering among question marks. While everyone can intergrate and differentiate like it was the process of consuming and defaecting, I feel like I dont have an appetite and constipation at the same time. I seriously wonder what I am doing sometimes. Why am I here, where I dont belong.

I rather not think about it anymore. I guess all I can hope for is the best, the best to come out from all the confusion I am facing now. Perhaps I will find my way soon. Perhaps.

2007-09-30T22:05:00.000+08:00

The first week after prelims is over. Went by in a batting of the eye. Playtime should be long over. But not quite in my case. I guess I havent really got the momentum going, that is why I am not so crazy as to define linear momentum upon seeing the word momentum.

Next week will be pretty truncated. I hope things will work out better. I need to discipline myself more. But I dont really know to what extent I should do so. I know its crazy to abstain from all forms of play. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, whoever Jack is. All work and no play can make me crazy. And like what I said to some people, its going to be a long month. If we work ourselves out too hard at the start, we might explode before the time is even over.

The bloody As seem so close yet so far. In less than 2 months, I could be free from all this shit, like it has never happened before. And the time after As seem to hold so much promise, such limitless possibilities. And that is what I am trying to refrain from thinking about. No fastforwarding. Have to stay in tune with what is present, what is now. I guess all that has to wait, and I hope it will.

So for now, I guess I got to maintain what is called a mind of normal circumstances, ping chang xin? Lol. Okay its not easy to translate chinese to english at times. Do my most in everyday and not burn out too soon.

I hope everything will just work out.

Anyway on a random note, the LJS at century square is opened for its last day today. And it was a coincidence that I decided to drop by. Life has only been 18 years and already I can see changes all around. Childhood memories revolving around many places can no longer be relived. Remember munching LJS at parkway and century with my family when I was much younger. The LJS at parkway has long been removed and a new one built and now its time for century to go as well. Oh well. It was good while it lasted.

2007-09-25T21:05:00.000+08:00

I think my wisdom tooth is erupting. And it is not the most splendid feeling. Feels just like an ulcer in the mouth, plus terrible headaches and accompanying flu like symptoms. The headaches have been going on for two days now. Not the right time at all. =(

Lessons these 2 days have been uber boring. Its either going through of answers of prelims or doing some mock paper after a whole day of the former. Super tiring and boring, although I am not sure if the fatigue comes more from the senseless onslaught of answers or the wisdom toothy thingy.

Got back some papers too lah. It was okay I guess. Not that delightful but I guess acceptable.

Anyway, I just hope that people around me will do well for the papers that have yet to be returned. It is not nice seeing unhappy faces at all, sad and very different from the norm, very unusual and unsetlling. Gives me a headache. Wait or was that because of the wisdom tooth? Ah never mind. Either that or I hope people learn to take things better in their stride. Good luck to them though. =)

Let these boring days go by faster.

2007-09-23T21:21:00.000+08:00

Time passes by sooner than you expect. All too soon, the prelims are over. It seems not long ago that it was after the mid years actually. But now all is left is the final hurdle, no more trying. Just the final judgement. The conclusion of two years in JC.

It seems rather fearsome actually. The A levels is really different from past examinations. Looking back at the O levels, by the time the prelims was over, all had to be done was some final tweaking and fine tuning. However, the situation seems rather distant from that now. It is worrying, but I will not worry. Why worry? It will not help things at all. I will just try to make the best out of it. And I will.

Anyway, its a happy thing that the prelims is over I guess. I had my 4 days of fun too. Yesterdays dinner at xin wang hongkong restaurant was quite interesting. The mango ice was fun to eat, and nice too. Hahas. And I watched like 2 movies in 2 days. The first movie was crap, premonition, waste of money. The plot was a mess so yup if you have that extra $10 or so, you know what not to spend on. The second show was Underdog. I think its quite cute lah, funny at parts, and I am a sucker for cartoons and such, so ya.

So the fun is over. Back to school tomorrow. Boring school. I rather be on study break seriously, though it kills my wallet. =x Oh well, what shall I bring tomorrow then?

2007-09-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

Pitstop. Well sort of. My pitstop team seems lousy though. I woke up at 12pm-ish today. Not good. Then I started studying around 1 after lunch. But I just got terribly distracted and got a headache. Its called the result of oversleeping I guess. So around 5 I went back to sleep. And my alarm clock screwed up so I woke at slightly before 8. Still had the headache. Now, I only muddled through statistics 1 and did some reading up on stats. Got to make up for the time lost. =S

Anyway, the week before wasnt exactly good. For a start maths paper 1 was terrible through and through. I actually felt I should not be there at all less than 1 hour into the paper. Its the worst kind of feeling you can get in an examination. Then econs was another screw up. Policies hardly came up. And I struggled through. So I guess thats 2 failed papers.

Okay chemistry was not that good but it felt okay after the end. Physics paper 3 was the only confirmed good through the whole week I guess. It felt good and Mr Gohel just told me it was good, so its good! So thats the end of week 1. Half done.

Monday is scary, very scary actually. Chem paper 1 and 2 and maths paper 3 in one day is no joke. And its like must do well for all the papers I guess, to make up for week 1 stumbles. Ack. Just have to hope it goes well.

I think examination stress makes me dream, loads and loads. I had like dont know how many dreams last night. One dream was me getting some funny posting by the school to some econs rescue thingy, which means I failed terribly lah. And other random dreams.

Things can only get better I guess. I hope.

And I have been waiting for some 5 days for songs. =(

2007-09-10T21:30:00.000+08:00

Just a short one.

First day of prelims was okay! Yay! Though I am not so sure about tomorrows chemistry. The revision pace seems abit jialat now. I am hardly done at all. Zzz. Oh well I am trying. So why am I here when I am lacking time? Hahas. Yeah I know I contradict myself all the time.

Actually I am here to post on something random I thought of this morning, in case I forget by the end of the week. Okay. Do you ever notice how some songs just remind you of certain people? The link between the song and that person can be greatly varied. It may be a song that person recommended you, one that he or she sent you, perhaps a song that you heard the person sing before or just a song that the person likes. Either way, its amazing how our minds link songs to people. Helps you remember people too, like when you suddenly here that song from ages back and you recall the friend you had back then. It does bring back memories.

So I am just curious, is there a song that reminds you of me? Hahas. Tagboard is there. Ready, set, go!

2007-09-09T22:07:00.000+08:00

And so week two of revision has come to an end. In a twinkling of an eye too. Time can never be enough. But that is also the beauty of the world. If we did not have deadlines, we will spend too much time on one matter, missing out on the beauty of the rest of the world. The more time people spend on something, the higher the standards will be raised, and people will then spend even more time trying to beat that standard, what we call a cyclical chain of time wastage. Hmms. I am digressing.

So anyway, what done is done. What extra could be done is not done and should be ignored. There is no time for regrets, no space to turn around. Its just what lies infront, versus me. It is an onslaught, fearsome and terrifying, but one things for sure, it will remain scary until I defeat it.

I think this description is apt. When you are on a battlefield, back at your camp, you can pump yourself up, revise your strategies, and boost your confidence all you want. But as you step up against the defying forces, and you see the soldiers charging towards you, it is instinctive that your heart skips a beat. Your cofidence is wavered. That is exactly how it was. Perfectly fine in the afternoon, but now there is a quiver inside.

But I wont let that tremble shake me. I will contain it. I will fake my confidence for as long as I can, and I will convince myself. There is no turning back I know. So why defeat myself before I even start fighting. I must believe I can do it, and I will do it.

Two weeks. Its not very long but neither is it short. I hope I can sustain. I must rest more, study more and think less. Rawr. See me at the end of the tunnel.

Okay. Before I go, I know its cliche but heres the well wishes to my classmates, friends and anyone else going through the same shit called prelims. Good luck to all of you people, be strong and smile, the operation will be over soon.

And I have a headache already. =X

2007-09-01T19:43:00.000+08:00

Dreams. Some say that it is the potrayal of your subconscious, the script that you wrote without even knowing being translated to a show for the big screen, in a cinema where only you sit. Yet others say it is a sign to what is going to happen. A foresight of the future, a premonition.

Why do dreams come when you least expect it? A familiar scenario it was, something from the past, yet the characters in the scene had been updated, to the new people in my life. Yet, every other thing seemed the same. The same unexpected twist. The same emotions of anguish, anger and heartache. I was last to know once again.

I was jolted from sleep. The familiar dark setting of my room consoled me but could not convince me. Yes it was just a dream, but it seemed too real, far too real. Perhaps it was because the emotions were too similar, too familiar. The same look upon her face, the guilt, and all at once I knew what they said was true. The helplessness, when it was all too late and the world that I had built around myself just collasped, leaving me naked and cold.

It was a dream, but the dream haunted me through the day. It was not because I had not gotten over the past. It was be cause I was not ready to accept a future like that. I was afraid, afraid that the scene I had witnessed would replay in reality. I gazed about, on tenterhooks that somehow I may see her walking by with him. It was a dream, yet the effect was as if it had really happened. The devestation has only been restrained by the mind, the logical belief that what is a dream remains a dream. I knew I was thinking too much. But my heart does not believe, and it cries the tears no one sees.

Back to the question, what is a dream, a figment of my imagination or a foresight. I seriously hope its the former, a nightmare merely to forget.

2007-08-31T22:42:00.000+08:00

They say time flies when you are having fun. Why is it that I am not having fun but time flies anyway? Okay whatever. My study break is over already. And although I can say I did a bit of revision throughout the week, I think I could have done better. One, I shouldnt have wasted tuesday at home. Two, too much wasting of time. Fortunately, theres is still the september so called holidays next week. So abit more of study time. Hope it all works out.

Okay I finally finished part two of my operation yesterday. So yippee, no more anesthesic jabs and cutting on my face. I think its a serious waste of time actually but yeah at last its done. The waiting time was horrendous lah. I practically was wasting hours of time away. The actual cutting took maybe a minute? The wonders of laser. All I remember now is the burnt smell, and to put antibiotic cream two times a day.

Anyway, I think the emcees for some event at white sands yesterday are super random, bored, and entertaining. Making fun out of songs, and stuff like that. And me, fred, LY and Yonghuang are from NTUC fairprice secondary school. Sure thing man. Just for standing near by and supporting Singapores very own. But it was funny. = ="

Today was teachers day celebration. The inside info was true. A certain teacher didnt turn up as expected. So the so called party was a flop. The concert was quite okay. At least it wasnt the usual dance, band, CO, choir, guitar, wushu, taekwando and yada yada performances. Luke Laus song was pretty amusing. He is quite free apparently. Either playing cards with students or coming up with songs like this. Being a teacher doesnt seem so bad actually. =X

Watched Ratatouille (pronounced rat-a-2-e) finally. Sure took its time to hit the screens. I think its quite nice lah. Rats made cute. Worth watching. Except I am super tired today. Not use to waking early. ZzZ.

Pictures de randome.

So I am sticking to my once a week blogging pattern. So just in advance anyway.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU YVONNE LOW !^!!

Hope you enjoyed the celebration for you on Monday although it was just dinner lah. Hey there was baked brownie and stuff lor. Hahas. Have a wonderful wonderful day tomorrow! =)

Lala thats all folks!

2007-08-24T21:49:00.000+08:00

The last week of term 3 for the J2s has come and gone. Next week will be study break followed by September holidays. 2 nice solid weeks of revision. I hope I will get the best out of it. Thankfully the maths department finally developed revision packages, so perhaps my revision for maths will be more fruitful. Hope to finish the chemistry and maths revision package by week 1. Then again, where is the physics revision? Zz. Better find something before I neglect it. And then I got a feeling I will neglect econs again. Will try not to. I hope.

Quite an eventful week has gone by actually. First up was the class photoshoot. Our theme this year was balloons, somehow. =x I think it may brighten up the picture abit better then last year lah though. But these years poses were not original at all. It all seemed like just groups of people crowding around benches. Zz. Wonder how it goes. Oh well, will find out soon.

I donated blood for the first time yesterday. Wasn bad at all. It was a relatively simple process actually. Except the anasthesia jab didnt go very smooth for me I think. But at least there was no giddiness of any sort. I was kind of bored actually. =x And the squeeze toy wasnt the cute blood drop guy, it was a bag of blood. =( But yeah, wouldnt mind going again I guess.

Anyway, this week just got me very tired somehow. Got to rest up and prepare for the marathon which begins next week. Okay lets put it on Sunday. For all the other people fighting this prelim and A level shit, lets fight hard together alright?

2007-08-18T20:42:00.000+08:00

Super hectic week. Full of tests and mock examinations. Monday Chemistry transition and electrochemistry test. Tuesday organic time trial and physics mcq mock exam. Wednesday econs test. Friday chemistry mock paper 3. Today chemistry mock paper 1 and 2. Super tiring. I was totally thrashed on thursday night. Yeah the pace is picking up, and so must I. But things are better I guess.

Went to see Gwen Stefani concert on Tuesday night. Okay as usual I am a suagu. I never attended a concert before. So I finally got my chance since there were free tickets. And I realised I never been to Indoor Stadium to watch anything either. The last time I was there was during NDP rehearsals back in secondary one. Was quite good lah. Alot of catchy songs, some familiar too.

Pictures. =)

Pretty eventful week.

On a totally unrelated note, unrelated to me as well, just some thoughts, love cannot be compared and should not be. Every love that two people share is different and special. Every interaction should be magical, too magical to understand, too beautiful. When one begins to find that he or she is comparing his or her love to that of others, something is wrong. It has turned materialistic, without the spark anymore. Time to reignite yeah?

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Have you ever had the feeling that something is amiss? Something has gone badly wrong but you are not sure what. It is like the feeling you have before the plunge at the top of the rollercoasters climb. A sudden feeling of emptiness, loss of support, not knowing what comes next. I wonder if there is a break in the track or it is just part of the ride. What a timing. Now I am unsure.

I am thinking too much probably. But nobody likes building sandcastles in the sky. If I already am laying the foundations, I would rather stop. Sigh. I guess I need to be stronger.

******************************************************

Next week will be great. Class photo and stuff. And its the last week of school. Yeahness.

2007-08-11T21:15:00.000+08:00

Memories from National day.

This 3 months to go is not going to be easy. But I will fight on.

Cant wait for it to be over though. =x Kind of early to think such thoughts yeah?

Lalala.. =)

2007-08-10T20:53:00.000+08:00

National day is over. Happy birthday Singapore. Had a bit of fun too. And now its back to the solemm school days after this again. Suddenly, I feel scared all over again. It seems too easy to fail the A levels actually. Far too easy to crap my future. Too easy.

I know how grave this all is, but I just dont really know how to rectify the situation either. Lets see, my maths is still quite terrible, very actually. My chemistry is more or less back on track. My physics is okay. Economics, I dont know really. Its quite a scary situation.

I find that I am wasting time. I havent really gotten into revision. School just doesnt allow me to do so. Its just overloading me. I can only revise on stuff that is revised in school. I am worried. What about the rest? The teachers are so afraid they dont have the time to finish their revision lectures. Then what about the rest? Are the revision lectures really enough to save my life? I highly doubt so.

What can I do I keep asking myself? I am trying to finish up all the revision stuff that is thrown at me. Its pretty a dilemma actually. If I try to revise myself, I may not do what is given to me. If I do what the teachers give, the teachers might think I am working hard but is it really a better route?

I guess I need to be more serious about this. I need to push myself really hard. Though I cant really see myself that way. Doing the Physics TYS twice. Studying during every break. Revising three times a day. Its just crazy, I dont see myself that way. Is it really worth it? I dont know.

I guess all I can do is work hard and see what happens. Be positive. And the best may come. No point brooding over it.

2007-08-05T19:46:00.000+08:00

The week or so has been full of up and downs. Since I dont remember details anymore, I will just do a list of ups and downs throughout the week, just for a refreshing change. Ready? Here we go!

Down: I was informed that my repair bill for my phone would be $197.25.

Up: My watch is ready for collection.

Up: I got to try out 8/9 pin tap for the first time.

Down: The above was not as easy as I expected. Did not do that well.

Up: I was given the option to forfeit my warranty for a free repair of my phone, which I accepted.

Up: I got 90% for my chemistry retest on inorganic chemistry.

Up: I passed my chemistry test on chemical/ionic equilibrium and chemical bonding.

Down: I failed my maths test on hypothesis and correlation due to some stupidness.

Up: I collected my phone back, and nothing was deleted.

Down: I did not manage to collect my watch as I was too late.

And so I realise my week has more ups than downs. So I guess I should be happy. Then again, I am wearing out, getting tired, getting demotivated. Rawr. I hope the national day holidays will get me going again.

=========================================

Yesterday was kayaking day. Met the people at Eunos MRT station. I guess I forgot that they are always late somehow. I reached 10 minutes early. Mistake eh? Never mind. Hahas. I forgive them.

Went for prata breakfast. Wasnt that nice lah but eating prata as breakfast always seems nice somehow. I guess perfect competition at that food centre wasnt exactly working. Or we just chose the wrong stall. Lol.

Anyway, after that we took a pretty long bus ride on 93 to MacRitchie. We reached there early. Some of us thought it began at one but it was two actually. So we sat round and stoned. I think got one j1 guy quite poor thing. He also came for the kayaking then he decided to stick around with us not knowing my class antics. We can stand around an area forever and forever okay?

After a while, it was finally time. I think the older instructor was quite nice and friendly, the other one was wearing sunglasses most of the time so I couldnt really tell. We would be just attending an orientation course, so no capsize drill or anything. The people there were my class people, some s203 guys, 2 girls from I dont know where and that j1 guy. So we were taught some basics, like stuff about the boat, the Personal Floation Device and how to row and then we could finally get into the water.

I and Leayee started off in a double kayak, and the girls in 2 doubles, while the rest of the class guys were in singles. Starting off was really hard. Steering was really difficult. Confusion set in but we did not hit outselves in confusion. Just splash water at most.

I guess practice makes perfect. We got better soon. Especially after the instructor taught how to steer. So from being the going to crash into land kind, we became quite fast. Hahas. Got quite a coordination going.

Halfway through had a funny exercise. Had to stand on the boats. All of us. But no one fell in the water lah. Anyway, I exchanged boats with Kenneth later, so I got to try the single kayak as well. Easier to steer definitely, but also more tiring.

We switched back later. Then there was this game to end off. Sort of like captain ball on boats. Had to pass the ball to one of the instructors. Single kayaks vs double kayaks. Really test skills sia. Like how to steer faster and speed. I think it would be much easier in single kayak definitely, cause they scored 2 against nil. The results speaks.

Hahas. I guess it was my bad, but I and LY capsized like twice, while most people remained dry throughout. Was too kancheong in getting the ball, and before you knew it, in the water. zz. Abit malu ah since like no one else was hitting water. The first time was like dont know what to do, the second time began to look familiar. Hahas. And the soles of my shoes juz fell off, like the whole foam part. Old shoes =Z

But well Bang fell overboard too, without the boat capsizing. Quite funny ah. I think she was trying to reach for somebodys paddle to form some formation around the instructor and then it happened. And my paddle changed colour in the process. Dont really know what happened but I might have had a hand in it too. =x Yvonne was damm lucky got many people holding on to the boat, so she didnt follow. Anyway, sorry to LY for my kancheong spider ways. But hey at least we got to try capsizing right? =S

Summary, water sports are super fun. Always very memorable and makes you want to try again. Just like dragonboating. But very tiring too.

So tired that could really sleep on the bus back.

Went to Bedok 85 to eat dinner. I passed by this place countless times but never ate here before. Super crowded as usual. Luckily we got a place. Quite funny, we were all wearing callisto OGL tee and then there was this guy wearing the same jersey. His friends all laughed at him.

The food was really good. The stingray and oyster omelette especially. Super full. And we still bought ice cream after that. Crazy. XD

Anyway, it was a really super duper fun day. How soon can we have another day like this. I think you guys are a really fantastic bunch. =)

Today, back pain, shoulders pain. Hahas. Tired. And lots of homework. Oh well. At least we are in this together. Or am I the only one aching? =s

2007-07-27T22:15:00.000+08:00

3 months to crap a watch. 11 months to kill a phone. I guess I really have problem with good looking devices. Though clumsy would be a better word.

It has been a really lousy week. I think it would probably start with the phone issue. Okay theres handphone pokemon craze around, and after lots of efforts, I finally got the game going in my phone. Some hours later, the LCD goes and nothing can be seen. Game over.

Next day, was still feeling like crap over my phone. And a certain teacher who is currently on my blacklist (no pun intended) had to randomly choose me with a drop of her pen to go for college day since no one volunteered. I mean I can like have better luck than that right? Anyway I managed to wriggle my way out of the situation. Fortunately for the teacher I didnt have any mood to shoot the teacher. Because, I seriously can do it if I want to. Damm the teacher.

Next up would be chemistry test. I somehow got 3 out of 30, probably the bottom of the class. I seriously wonder how I wrote so much and didn get a single mark. I just got the first question perfectly right for 3 marks. And I did study to some extent, which is very worrying. Perhaps I didnt memorise. But I did for retest. Memorised the answers. How cool is that? Lets wait up for the results then.

Back to the phone then. I sent it for repairs today. And the great almighty warranty doesnt cover the damage done. Estimated cost? $100. Great. The verdict will come in about 2-3 days though. I could buy a new phone with $100 man. I was looking, w580i looks savvy. Though I wonder how much wrecked phone is worth for trade in now. So I guess I should just stick with repairs. Oh well, maybe things are not as bad. Maybe suddenly a chirpy person will call from Samsung and say oh we feel so fine we going to repair it for free! Sure. Im hoping.

I think I have discipline problems. I cant focus for long at home. Computer, TV, everything calls out to me. Especially since I get stuck in alot of work. I need to catch up, yet I keep falling in quick sand, and no quick sand does not make me quicker in case you were wondering, it makes me sink and be slower. I need to learn to leap, over all this. Or I could do work outside the house. One, someone can unstuck me in times of stuckness. Two, distractions are minimised. Just not too many people. But how to get people? It seems wierd to ask now, especially since study group didnt work back in June. I could do with someone to pull me from the quick sand.

I need a miracle, and very very very strong determination.

And I need to cut down on computer usage. So I probably try to blog once a week from now on. So dont read anymore.

2007-07-22T21:43:00.000+08:00

Rainy day. Beautiful. Gentle raindrops falling from the sky, washing away the mess in our lives. Makes me drowsy too. Would be greater if it was just another day in my life, where I have all the time to waste, all the time to while away, listening to the rhythm of the falling rain. Not today.

Thats the problem with the life here. It is far too fast paced. How often do we really get to appreciate what is around us? The wonders of nature. A simple question can prove my point, how often do we really notice what the celling of a room looks like? Not very often in my case. And since the dogs of exam stress had been set upon me, there is even less space to slow down.

I think I am really working harder, though it is probably not enough still. I still find myself not being able to sustain for long at home. I somehow like to get over any obstacle I hit as soon as possible. Otherwise, I will get distracted, frustrated and what not. So I will hit the com to find my answer, and waste more time there. Especially since people seem to not have the same problem as me. They seem online less often now. Less people to ask questions. More time wasted.

I guess I really need group study. Not group study perhaps. Maybe just a study partner, or 3 people or 4. I guess the June holiday group was far too big. It would be nice to have someone to do homework and revise with during weekends too. But its abit early now. Continue struggling by myself.

Okay I guess I went off path. This was supposed to be a nice post. No complains and no nonsense. I guess I cant help it. My life is crapped up now.

But today was a beautiful day anyway. I love rain. And it stopped to give me time to swim in the morning too. How perfect. I wish it would rain tomorrow too, and the day after, and the day after the day after.....

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I changed my blog song again. Colourblind. Old song. Nice lyrics. But a tinge too happy I realised. Too many colours. There seems to be only black and white in my world, and grey. Any suggestions for the next song? I am open to ideas.

2007-07-21T22:54:00.000+08:00

Today was meet the folks day. What can I say? I guess I feel some resentment. Lies. Lies galore. The teacher doesn seem to be trying to help me in any way. Instead, it seems more like kicking me while I am down, or stoning the person in the well. What kind of teacher will do that?

What was she trying to do? Sow discord between parent and child? Why on earth will she pick out the worse case scenarios to make you look worse then you ever are? Show how I dropped from a C in econs for block tests to a U now. Just makes me wonder why the hell did I even get that C before. And yes show how I plunged from C to S for chemistry too, coupled with the additional point that mid years are supposed to be easier than block tests. What a lie! What a freaking lie! Even teachers from the physics department knows that it was a killer paper. And theres can be the testimonials of the failures for chem to support my point. Imagine getting a U and still being in the top 250 in level for chemistry. Means some hundreds of students are getting worse Us. Easier. My foot.

There wasnt a good thing to say about me. Even my GP grades were not satisfactory for her. Fortunately my dad was very supportive of me. And so she moved on to how I could be overconfident. Great.

She said I was distracted in class and wasn focussing. Was it her own opinion? Though she said my tutors noticed. Shrugs. I admit I dont concentrate in her class. How many times do I need to learn to skim and scan anyway. She told me not to consult her with people of lower language standard than me. Cause she will teach at their level and I wont get much benefit. I wonder what standard does she teach at class then. Then again, am I really being distracted this year?

Anyway, I was just glad it was over. Without any benefits at all.

But I really wonder, was that necessary? To make me look bad? To demoralise me? The grades have already startled me. Is there a need to scare me more? What if I cant take it and decide to give up instead? Like its any of her business anyway. Perhaps she was just plain biased? People who do worse than me seem to have better remarks on their report slip.

One positive effect though. I am never going to let her see my parents again. So I guess I have to work?

Though I am afraid I am giving myself too much pressure. I get really frustrated and lost when I get stuck on some question now. I question my own intelligence. I wonder if I am the only one. I wonder how much more stress I can really take. What if I break like a stick? No amount of glue will make me the same again.

Got to keep going and think less for now. Gambatte!

And to those people who were similarly demoralised by her, ignore and move on.

2007-07-18T21:45:00.000+08:00

Put The Big Red Button on your site

Just a note, this is a complete waste of time, so if you need to waste time like me, then go ahead. I completed the cycle. And yes credits to my freshie Audrey, koped from her blog. = ="

2007-07-16T21:29:00.000+08:00

Its official. Meet the parents. Not so much difficulty breaking the news. But guess what? I guess I feel kind of guilty I had been the most hardworking for the whole evening. Im like doing stuff in advance. Finished the econs essay for this week. Did the chemistry time trial stuff that needed to be handed in on Friday, and not just questions 7 from group A and 3 from group B. I did everything. Im somewhat crazy. Maybe it should be everyday that I get the news that my folks got to meet the teacher.

Then again, I guess I still lack endurance. Found myself rushing through the cheat sheet for physics. Bleahs. And I still have problem with some questions, like will get totally stuck till Im unstuckable, whatever that means. Im working on it yeah?

I think I been much of a mental turmoil recently. I been thinking alot, too much for my own good probably. Wierd thoughts, thoughts I never thought I will ever think of. Actually seeing what I always hated to be possibly right. I guess sometimes I get tired too. I should keep my mind off such issues but its not easy. I should definitely try though, at least till after this whole bloody examination shit. Just about 4 months more.

Oh well. Keep going alvin.

Good to see you are fine.

2007-07-15T19:33:00.000+08:00

The wind lifts the colourful kite. The stronger the wind, the more glorious the flight of the kite, the spectrum of colours merging with the wonders of the horizon. Yet, the moment the wind dies, the sight that was once remarkable is but a normal kite again, a piece of randomly designed paper with bamboo structures. The same kite that can be found being produced in bulk at some factory in a far away land. Not very special again.

This world is created in a way that every thing is linked. The cow eats the grass and the tiger eats the cow. The water evaporates to form clouds, and the clouds return the water as rain. It is indeed a beautiful world.

However, the way everything complements everything could be as ugly as it could be beautiful. If one day, we found that the sun no longer rose, it would be the end of the world, for everything relies on the sun. A minor decline in any factor in the world could have lead to an evantual disaster in some other part of the world. Things that seem totally irrelevant at first sight.

Then again, links like this cannot really be explained can it? How it is formed, how it actually strengthens to an extent that a dependence is created. We are part of this chain for a reason. And for this reason, I accept.

看着你的无奈，我的心里也仿佛在滴着血，但我原是这个傻瓜，默默地担心你。

2007-07-14T17:32:00.000+08:00

Finally a day of rest, perhaps too much. I practially slept till slightly before noon. At least there wasnt much of a hangover from the excessive sleep. Tried to do a little homework. Did some maths and chemistry but got stuck here and there. Or perhaps I am still lacking the discipline. Got to get back to the books later.

Went to watch Harry Potter yesterday. We had booked the tickets at GV Plaza the day before but arrived there to find that they had sold 3 of our tickets. Made me about 40% pissed. Firstly, we were not late. Secondly, even if we were, it was due to a bloody slacker closing the counter for god knows how many precious minutes. Thirdly, the bloody ang moh at the counter was just concerned with slanging his way through in an atrociously cocky manner, with not a tinge of apology in his tone, thinking we are stupid chinese who cant understand english. He was probably only concerned about pushing the blame to his chinese colleague. Yes we know you think he is an idiot, you dont have to emphasise it. And to his colleague who happily slanged back, shame on you, speak like a chinese dammit. Poor customer service, period.

Anyway, we were lucky enough to get seats at The Cathay instead. Second row from the front though, and we were late for the show. Anyway, the show was not bad. Could understand it though I didn read the book. But it makes me feel like reading. But I dont think I will have the time anyway. And yeah, the counter service at The Cathay was good. She was patient enough for us to make the decisions. No complains. And the ushers were even glad to help hold a ticket for Terence who was late. Kudos to them.

Had Carls Jr for dinner. Yes I admit I am a suagu and it was my first time eating there. Was not bad at all. The burger was big (ya duh), the fries were not bad, and the drinks were refillable. Didnt really exploit the drink fountain though, was pretty full. Anyway there was this thing on the menu called beef chilli cheese fries that sounded and looked so yummilicious good. Too bad there wasnt space for it. Next time yeah? And yes the service there was really good. The waitress who walked by even bothered to ask if there was anything else we needed after we got our orders. Now thats what I call service.

And so that was my day out. Was pretty good I guess and I hoped it cheered some people up.

Be strong girl.

2007-07-11T21:25:00.000+08:00

Okay its all over. Its not AUSSU or USBUS. Its CUSUS. I guess I overrated myself. Screwed my paper 1. I am facing a writing crisis I guess. Nothing is working well. No one appreciates my writing anymore. And thats the second major paper 1 in a row that I didn do well in.

It is quite depressing. Only passing 1 H1 is not fun at all. And I am back to square one I guess. Without any comfortable subject, struggling. Its not that I am not trying. But it just is not as easy said then done.

I guess there is no point harping on the whole matter I guess. Its time to move on and try harder. But I am really not sure where to go from here. I am trying to do my tutorials and school revision stuff very regularly. Though tutorials are still pretty undoable, like group VII, but I do try harder. I am considering revising on myself now. Though it seems like pretty no where now.

But I dont know what really I should start with. Practicing tutorials for maths didn work. Practicing TYS for physics didn work. So what? I guess tutorials still. Now I need to find the motivation to start. And then keep it in drive.

I really do wonder sometimes, if what Mr Gohel said was true. That our studying in school wasnt paying off at all. I wonder. I really do. If it was just the paper standard or that it was purposeless. I know I probably do more in school than at home, especially during the holidays, but then again quality is questioned. But if I were to study at home, I guess the optimal period is from 11pm-3am. Not a great time.

Oh well. I guess I will give it more than. I will not give up my life but I guess I have to strike a better balance.

And to all those people who didnt well as well, be strong, and try again.

Funny, shuting and yvonne low though I carved my name into my hand or something. I dont think I am that emo and crazy to try something like that yet. Black pen and red highlighter. Quite a good effect I realised. Just give it some time to wear off.

2007-07-10T18:11:00.000+08:00

A little update.

H1 General Paper ?
H2 Physics S
H2 Chemistry S
H2 Mathematics U
H1 Economics U

Not looking exactly that great still. Its very bad to be exact, not a H2 pass, though I know of people who are worse off than me. Is it just the mid years? Or are we really just not cut out for studying?

Physics. I dont really know if I should cry or laugh. The total marks for all the papers is 180. To get a pass, you need 81 marks. All those who passed maths should have figured that. I used a calculator. Anyway, I think heaven is playing a joke on me. I got 80 marks. Flat. On one side, its close to a pass, so good attempt? On the other side, its close to a pass, why didn I just bloody pass? It wasnt as bad as I expected but yeah, it just sucks when you place all you hope on one bloody subject and yeehah they fool you by one mark.

Everyone seems to have a subject they are better at. So at least they could get a nice and comfortable pass in that. Not me. I suck in practically every subject. Even chemistry has hit the rocks. And maths was as bad as it felt. Not even close to a pass. I really wonder what I can do.

Then again wait a moment. I guess my subject is GP. Too bad it aint a H2.

So on a lighter note, I guess I did okay for GP. Havent got it all back but 30.5 for paper 2 isnt that bad I guess? Actually I am quite happy with it haha. Especially AQ. I looked at it and I instantly thought siao! 6/8. I am impressed.

So its paper 1 tomorrow. I really hope for a A in GP actually, but it will probably be B or less. I couldnt possibly get 39.5 for my essay now right? But an A will definitely make my SUSU grades look much better. Like AUSSU instead of USBUS. Way cooler. Susu is milk in malay by the way. Lol.

I guess GP is really what I am proud of. Breaking the stereotype that science students dont do GP. I guess science students are just too structured? Thats why they teach GP to us so structured-ly as well. And GP is hardly mug-able. So to all those muggers out there. Go try mugging GP man.

2007-07-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

This blog really records everything.

My mid year results from last year.

H1 General Paper D
H2 Physics E
H2 Chemistry C
H2 Maths E
H1 Economics U

Not very fantastic but hey I passed all my H2s.

My promos results from last year.

H1 General Paper A
H2 Physics C
H2 Chemistry C
H2 Mathematics C
H1 Economics S

An improvement. GP is like wow. And I got straight Cs now for H2s now. And finally subpassed my econs.

My block tests results.

H1 General Paper E
H2 Physics E
H2 Chemistry C
H2 Mathematics U
H1 Economics C

GP was disappointing. And the rest began to look a teeny weeny bit like 2006 Mid Year results. Even worse. Passed econs though I think, I didn really blog explicitly on this.

Alright time to quit beating about the bush. Why the sudden want to dig up old records? Cause I guess I am going to break all the records soon. Not in a good way definitely.

First looks.

H1 General Paper ?
H2 Physics ?
H2 Chemistry S or U
H2 Mathematics ?
H1 Economics U

I guess all will be known tomorrow. But things are definitely not looking good. My straight track record of Cs for Chemistry is crushed. And econs is knocked out again, just when things were starting to improve during block tests. From the look on Mr Gohels face, I got a feeling that I didn do too well either, probably a U. And maths, did I say I gave up on it even before the exams? Terrible. It looks like I may not get a single H2 pass. And for GP, its super unpredictable, paper 2 was difficult.

I really dont understand why this is happening to me. I know I am not your hardcore mugger but I could at least pass? It is not like I didn study at all. I did. I even practiced, not just flip through notes. I could even say that it is probably one of the times I studied harder. And here I am breaking all records. It aint fair at all.

Am I really expected to give up everything to a life of books and tutorials? Is doing TYS twice to practice for one exam the only way that can really work? What happened to brains? I know I am not stupid, neither are some of the friends around me. But why is this happening to us? I really cant. I cant be a hardcore mugger. I cant. I cant give up my life. I cant just eat books daily with worksheets as drinks. I need to breathe. Its like asking me to cut of a limb. What can I do realy?

The worst possible thing that could happen to me will be a U for physics. It will really crush me I guess. For that was what I really worked hard for. I really dont know what to expect. But it seems quite apparent.

It is like falling through air after falling off a building. The end is almost certain, yet here I am in denial. I didnt jump off myself. I was trying to build a bridge to the higher building opposite the road, but my construction failed me, and I am falling.

Somebody catch me.

2007-07-08T21:02:00.001+08:00

I think I am growing old, turning into a rickety old man. Just one day of bowling and I am aching everywhere. Not good. Yeah its probably just a lack of exercise. And my forth finger hurts as usual, which is worrying.

On a finer note, went swimming today! Was feeling better in the morning so decided to go. Was a night of torture though, caught in between the flu bug and dreams. Somehow my bad dreams is always about something perpetual, just keeps going on and on, without and end. Imagine like falling forever and forever, or doing something without a significant ending point. Not very scary now but it just freaks me out in dreamland. Wierd.

Anyway, yes went swimming. Swam about 20 laps only. And didn play with the slide. =X And didn sun much too, not much sun. But I feel fitter already. Hahas. Should make it an effort to swim more often, maybe like every weekend? If I can afford the time. = ="

My desktop is screwing up. Really pissed me off. It like keeps shutting off by its self suddenly and coming up with funny error reports. And when I ran some scans on it, it shutted down when the scan was done, before I could delete all the adware and stuff. Crappers. And so I had to redo it all over again. But I guess its pretty fine now, considering that I can blog on it. Dont shut down now please lol.

The homework is getting on my nerves. I cant seem to do it as usual. Like how am I expected to work out the Chemistry paper 1 when I cant possibly get full marks. And I tikamed most of it. = =" And stuck on tutorials as usual. So I just decided to slack for the rest of the day.

Watched Happily Never After which my sis rented, and I watched it before her hahas. Shhh. =X Then there was the new 7 o clock show on channel 8. Quite funny and interesting I think.

So I guess my weekends is over for now. Back to the never ending workload. =( Jiayou alvin.

I would have loved to see you today.

2007-07-07T21:30:00.000+08:00

Went bowling with Shawn and Terence today. Finally after 9213894128 gazillion years. Okay maybe thats abit of an exagaration. =x Anyway, I guess games were still not bad, considering the time lapse. I guess things are more fun and relaxed now that we have stepped down.

One significant game, 5 out of 7 solid pockets got me the pin 10 left standing. I only spared the first two. After that I got abit pek chek so I kept missing by a few cm. Lols. Very frustrating indeed. Quite funny too, I think I saw the bowler on the next lane like arm chio. = ="

Anyway just for information ladies and gentlemen, the price hike has hit Kovan Superbowl as well. The rates are now $2.80 per game, not $2.20. =( I only found out after playing 6 games. Woohoo. This leaves me quite dry.

Went to play snooker after that. Its sort of my first time playing. And hell its difficult. Its hard to even hit the ball not to say hit the precise angle. Even when you think you hit correctly, the ball behaves sort of differently. And its wierd but less strength is needed although the table is bigger. So not being very pro, we ended up playing pool on snooker table. Still more diffcult but I managed to win once. =)

Tomorrow going swimming. But I feel abit sick already. Must be the weather. Looks like a flu coming. Throat feels dry and sore and some nasal discomfort. Bleahs. Oh well will still go swimming I hope, and yeah no rain please!

On a random note, did you wear green today? I did.

2007-07-06T21:15:00.000+08:00

School is not fun at all. 2 days back and I already see homework. Lots of homework.

Actually I guess some of it is just haunting me from the past. Those stuff that teachers believed we would have done to revise. The average student would have done it I guess. Too bad I am not average. So CORRELATION, group VII and other crappy tutorials resurface in my world. Sorry for capitalising correlation, I just have a tendency to call it recurrence which I almost did, so I need to remind myself.

Then there is some crappy GP project. So I was in some kind of crappy mood on Thursday morning and made 2 mistakes. One, not reading properly. I could have made up my own group instead of GP group. Not that my GP group is not cool, its just that some of them seem hard to contact and we see on different eye levels. Second, why the heck did I choose ethics and morals. And now I get stuck on a infinitely broad topic and have to answer questions like do we need ethics and morals and do ethics and morals change with time. The answer is duh. But one word answers are sadly a no-no in GP.

Its time to get back in the right attitude. I have been too much in a relaxed mood I guess. Its just computer and sleep and teevee at home. No homework. Doesnt sound right. I need to get started soon. Rawr.

School sucks did I say?

2007-07-05T23:10:00.000+08:00

And craps I almost forgot. Oops.

Anyway...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVONNE NG!!!

Yeah. Though you cant grow taller anymore its okay, you can grow smarter, you can grow more matured, and er er yeah, you get my point. So though theres just about less than an hour left. Enjoy! Happy 18th. =)

2007-07-05T21:02:00.000+08:00

Back to school today. But not for my civics tutor I guess. Did a no show on the first day. How exciting. But kudos to two free periods though, although there were tasks at hand, supposedly.

Nothing very eventful, just getting used to dreadful school days again. A long thursday was a great way to start us off. Lol.

Anyway, there was height and weight today during PE. I was kind of dreading it. I knew I wasnt growing much taller. But I am growing much heavier, very very much more. And yep, the figures showed it. Didn grow vertically as expected but 64.7kg.

I know it may seem kind of light to some of you folks out there but lets remember that I am only 1.69m tall and I used to be some 10kg lighter than that at about the same height. And I think I put on some of it only recently. Thanks to the mid-years.

I really believe theres some connection between examinations and weight gain. Firstly, you are cooped up in some sitting or lying position for many hours trying to do tutorials, TYS and flipping desperately through notes. Thats not very much exercise isnt it. Secondly, I tend to eat alot when studying. When I am bored, when I am stressed, when I need it. And hey it shows. And that was only about 2 weeks. Wonder what will the scales show after A levels.

I have a phobia of scales now. They say army will slim you down but damm I am not going to wait till then. I might qualify for early admission by then. So I am going to have to lose some weight soon. The target is 60kg but I am not really going by that anyway. As long as I feel I look okay its fine. Lol.

I dont believe in starving myself. Though I could cut down on waffles with kaya or chocolate on my stroll home. So I am going to exercise. Lots. Swim, run, cycle, walk, whatever. And get back in shape.

I hope I dont sound bimbo-itic in this post. The word is metrosexual. Yeah? XD

Back to life.

2007-07-04T20:26:00.000+08:00

The examinations are finally over. My timetable is now in the dustbin of E2-2, probably no longer there, but yeah you get the point.

Went to sort of celebrate Yvonne Ngs birthday today. Its tomorrow so I guess I leave the wishes to tomorrows post. Realised Pizza Hut still has student meal, surprisingly. I thought it was gone for good. But hey its value for money man. Thats nice. After that went to watch Nancy Drew. Its alright I guess. Always thought it was a girls book so girls show but yeah its alright. And hung round lots as usual. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the so called celebration. Haha.

Its wierd aint it? People always look forward to the end of the examinations to find that theres nothing very much to look forward to after all. Its kind of boring actually. And looking at tomorrows timetable, not very exciting as well. Double GP to start things off. Woohoo.

But hey I guess it will still be better off than the examination period. Just normal peaceful life. And theres the new canteen to try out as well. Havent eaten that yet. Yeah. So I guess there are things to look forward to, though there are things I dread as well, in normal day life. Sigh.Overlook them alvin.

So its back to school then. =)

I dont want to just watch helplessly, sometimes.

2007-07-03T21:28:00.001+08:00

Just one more day. One more freaking paper.

Look at this scraped up piece of paper.

How long did I take to cancel out the papers one by one. 1 month before I could even begin. And 8 days into the process. Finally. Finally all thats left is the paper circled in pink. Finally.

WOOHOO!

I know its abit early but hey I am not going to study anymore. Maybe except flipping here and there. Just 2 hours more of mental distress.

Looking forward to the end man.

But hey yeah still one paper left in reality. Do your best people. =)

2007-07-02T22:39:00.000+08:00

The three days of holiday has finally come to a ceasure. Three days of boredom. Three days of wanting to play, but not being able to be fully enjoy myself. Three days of struggling to study. Three long days. Finally.

Back to the examinations then. I managed to study finish I guess, more or less. But there just seems to be something missing. The uncertaintity, the unfamiliarity. Not expecting what will really happen. I just hope for the best then.

So since there was a break. Time to wish everyone all the best again. Lol. Yeah lets give it our best, for two days more only. Jiayou jiayou jiayou!

And yeah, happy youth day! XD

2007-06-30T18:54:00.000+08:00

Its the first day of the three days break in between papers. And I am bored already. Terribly. I did study okay? I studied measurements! Fine, I lost motivation to study lah. Contrary to what I believed, I need the pressure to study. Haha. I will study tonight.

So while I was bored, I browsed around some sites. Looked at some phones. Saw one not bad phone, Sony Ericsson w960, but its probably too early too look at phones. I need to hold on to my phones for longer. Anyway, I had an inspiration for a blog post.

Introducing to you, my history of phones!

First up is the Nokia 3310.

Its my very first phone that I got in secondary one. My first sign of growing up. Lol. I was suppose to get a 3rd hand 8210 actually but I didnt want a third hand phone. So I got this phone free with the plan. It came in boring black but hey that time phone covers were in. So I got like transparent cases and keypads. Just didn change the lights. It is a very fun phone. Had screen savers and stuff, though it was just a pixelised picture last time, but hey it was way cooler than the 8210, way bigger too.

So my Mum was worried that it was heavy, so in about a years time I changed to a new phone. Traded in the old one for $100. Good deal eh? Except now I am left with covers and keypads that I have no use for. Oh well. Moving on. I changed to the Nokia 6510.

It was a rather savvy phone. More grown up now. It was very small, the smallest I ever had. It was sort of the brother phone of the 8310. Same size. Except that the blue light was way cooler. Though it looked more business-sey. But hey, I did say more grown up did I? Haha. Mine was black. And it was the first nokia phone with the 7 battery bar. Savvy~ But I accidentally elbowed it anyway and the screen cracked. And the 6510 is one of the rare nokia phones that phone covers are hard to find for. So the fun was spoiled. =(

Anyway, colour phones soon entered the world. And I think I changed to one pretty fast too. Perhaps close to a year too? Changed to the slim and sexy Nokia 6100.

Yes colour was probably the only cool part about the phone. And the slimness. But no more fun games like snake 2 or space invaders unlike my 2 previous phones. Welcome to bounce. Lol. So it was here I learnt the cheat code for bounce. Cannot die! I wonder if I still remember. Anyone still has bounce on their phone? Haha.

But hey phones are starting to progress faster than expected. Cameras came out. And everyone was snapping. And my phone had no camera! And it became boring. Boring! And so it was soon to be replaced. I cant remember how long the 6100 stuck with me, but I hope it was longer than the previous one. Lol.

It was somewhere in sec 3 november that I got the Nokia 6230. Now that doesn make sense. How did I change 3 phones in less than 3 years. So I guess the 3310 was less than a year then, and the 6510 also shorter. Hmms.

This phone was my longest phone. It transitted me through secondary school to JC, through the long and adrous O levels, and yeah in short 2 years. Quite a nice phone. Games were worse again. Only had beach rally 2 that I liked. Notice the trend with nokia games. But hey camera and mp3 function. Woah. Although I had only a 32mb card, I was contented. Mine was silver by the way, and I really used it for so long the colour began to come off. Haha. But 2 years is a long time.

And so now I present my current masterpiece. The Ultra Edition 12.9 a.k.a Samsung D900C.

It is a very beautiful phone. Super slim slider. I decided on this phone because I realised looks probably lasted longer than functions. And I was tired of Nokia. So I got this phone, with looks, but of course with reasonable functions as well. Yes no 3G but who really uses 3G anyway. I have a 3mp camera and 1gb of memory. And it doesn make my pocket bulge. What else can I ask for?

Games. Haha. Samsung has a poor habit. They like to make money even after people buy the phone from them. So they invent the Samsung Fun Club. It just means that the games are not very accessible unless you pay for them. And you just get a few not so fun games. Okay free kick was fun but I maxxed the level long ago. And I guess there are some nice games too, just that other games seem more fun. Lol. Like bubble bobble and stuff on sony ericssons. Damm I used to have that on my 6230.

But hey, no violent plans to change phone yet. I plan to hold this phone for 3 years. I hope. Lol.

I noticed something. Even though my phones seem to be getting better, I seem to be using them less for proper functions. I used to sms alot in secondary school. But now that I got 1000 free sms, I dont really sms as much, except for those relays haha. I guess its just the people entering and exiting your life. Some people like to chat via sms. Some dont. Lol. Oh well.

And so I conclude my history of phones. =)

Just something that I have been wanting to say but I keep forgetting. Why do I seem to be the only one who blogs during exams? =S

2007-06-29T21:33:00.000+08:00

I wanted to call this a pitstop. The resting point in a race, for refuel and change of tires perhaps. On second thoughts, I decided to change my mind. Pitstops are not much of a relaxing place anyway. The crew is always rushing through their work to send off their teams car faster by that split second. Nope, I wont do that.

Insead, I am going to take it slow this 3 days. 2 subjects, half eaten, half digested. There is no point rushing to swallow. I might just choke. I am going to relax, take my time to browse through the remaining two subjects. I deserve it.

We all do. Even though we could have not performed up to what we had expected in some of the previous papers, there is no point pressurising ourselves to do even better in the next paper to make up for it. It doesnt make sense. Why give ourselves extra pressure when we are already facing it so tremendously? The rubber band can go further with extra stretching but too much will make it snap.

We need the rest. For the past 4 days, we have come home every day only to hit the books again, squeezing bits of info in with what little hours we have. It has taken its toll has it? We are all tired. Why should we do that now when we have the luxury of time presently? I am sure some of you will agree with me that studying under time is not the best way of storing it anyway.

So this weekends, take a rest. Sleep in tomorrow. Then think about the books.

Then again its hot weather aint it? It just rained, but its hot again. The heat has given me a headache, though it could equally very well be maths to be fair. =x Come on rain more!!!

Rest well my friends, and then gear up for the last 2 days of battle!

2007-06-28T20:50:00.000+08:00

Woohoo. Finally another do-able paper. No promises but it seems better than the other days. =)

Afternoon papers are good to some extent. Its more relaxed. Wake up later. More time to get in the mood. And hey yeah BK breakfast! But its only good for the day ah. Cause sadly we only have one afternoon paper. So it just means lesser time to revise for the next mornings paper.

And tomorrow is Maths paper 2. My chance to pull up the already screwed paper 1. But here I am online. Focus! Alright I will study after this post. But seriously I am only good at the first 2 parts of stats. I wonder how much of that they can really test. I guess I can chiong sampling and hypo but what the hell is correlation and regression? HELP!

Oh ya. The weather is really hot man. I was trying to sleep for a while then now to cure my headache and damn it was hot. Didn sleep much in the end but headache is gone. =)

Tomorrow is classroom. If it is going to be this hot, I might as well not go for paper. But hey classroom is better in a way. So if I give up on the paper, I can look around for more familiar faces in the same situation as I am. Hehe.

Crappers. Hit the books.

2007-06-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

There seems to be a bad trend forming for the examinations. Something I dont really want to see. First day was neutral, second day was bad, third day is worse. See the trend already? Well its not that the papers are getting more difficult really. And thats where the sucky part is.

I figured that todays paper was pretty easy. It was just me and my stupidness not being able to do it. Really. Its kind of dumb but I forgot nitty gritty parts that I practiced before just this holidays. Oh well. Felt really terribly initially but exams dont really have a hold on me. Good thing I failed a maths in secondary 4. Gives me preparation. I could be the next guy crying in the toilet otherwise.

Time to move on, and learn from the experience. I guess I skipped alot yesterday because I thought I just practiced it not long ago. So today I read through everything. I hope it will get better, and I guess it will.

Physics really gives mixed feelings. I always seem to put in the most effort for it. Try to understand it better and practice. But it is also the most hard subject to excel in. I got a E last block test. Wonder how it will go.

Rawr. I am not going to be set back by all these lousy papers. Tomorrow WILL be better.

2007-06-26T21:12:00.000+08:00

Today has not been good at all. Maybe sometimes you can tell. From the point you wake up, sometimes you just feel like crap. And thats probably how the day will end.

Lets talk about the paper first. I guess its mostly unanimous, at least among those I asked. It is a relatively difficult paper. I only completed one question quite completely, with only parts here and there done from other questions. And that one question already took me an hour. Time problems there. So I guess I have to rely on the other paper then. Sigh.

Revision for maths is not going very good. I am doing what I can but I guess somewhere inside I have sort of given up abit. Theres just too many screwed up parts in maths that I need to fix. Not enough time to fix it during the holidays. Plus a not very good teacher. I am trying. But theres this bad bad feeling inside of me. Something different from the other nights before papers. Sigh.

Sometimes there are things you can try very hard to ignore, but deep down you know it bugs you, and you cant deny it. Yet there is not much of a way you can really run away. What you dont want to see just happens everyday. And it disturbs you. It could be just you and it probably is, cause not many a soul would agree with you. Or are they just blind, having the wool pulled over their eyes, or they just dont care. Then again, why should I care? It sucks.having a crush.

Things can only get better, can they?

2007-06-25T21:14:00.000+08:00

I think I am crazy but I actually sort of starting to enjoy the examination period. Cool aint it? Go to school for just 2 to 3 hours and you are free to go. Get home to have some sleep, try to study abit, and then the cycle resumes. Savvy. If you dont mind the examination stress that is.

Well I guess it wasn that bad today so extra yays for that. It seems as easy to pass as it is to fail. But its a good thing I guess. No bad feelings is a good thing. 50 50 is a good ratio.

The only funny thing was wearing the school uniform again. It has been on hanger for 1 month now. Feels funny. Its part of the back to school thrill aint it? Though it isnt that wholesome a back to school feel. Should be normal lessons, so more time to talk cock and get readjusted. I havent written for quite a while my pen feels scratchy.

Aww crappers. So its another paper tomorrow. I hope I will be as easygoing as today when I get back. =)

The monster in me reemerges. Is it really just me?

2007-06-24T23:11:00.000+08:00

9 hours to go.

Its about time. No looking back now.

No time for regrets. No time to panic.

Just some words of encouragement. If you had studied and are feeling comfortable, that is good. If you are not completely done, I am with you. Believe in yourself, thats all you can do. And try to be comfortable.

We are definitely not stupid. We know we have it. So lets do our best.

Good luck is what we need. So I am wishing it to be with all of you, fellow victims of the education system. More luck to be with those guys and girls that I fought the books together with this holidays, and shared both laughter and torment with. My classmates from 06S202. And those guys who I shared a past with. Go for it alright?

CHIONG AH!

2007-06-23T12:29:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a blast. It was like a fantastic conclusion to the holidays. 06S202 BBQ!

Started off pretty early going direct to Hongzhis house. Met Kenneth on the bus there which was good so I wouldnt be entering alone. Was really pretty early ah. I think Hongzhi was still asleep when we first arrived. Terence and Jungang came along later. We ultimate alianced for a while before headed off for east coast park.

It seemed that the other group meeting at Tampines wasnt very successful. LY was taking his own bus and Kopi was sleeping at home? So it was just the 3 girls, Capt Ris, Bang and Chew Fang. We went blading, which was what I wanted to do since the first week of the holidays. So yeah, another thing ticked off the checklist. I dont know if it was the holidays but the blading shop beside BK seemed to have rose in price. So after some hunting, we managed to find a shop that charged more reasonably, though the blades are lousier I guess. Gang and Terence were biking. LY met us at Mac. He really has a poor sense of direction. Wonder how he ended up at the Red House restaurant earlier.

So it was 6 on blades and 2 on bikes. And we went on for about 3 to 4 hours. Super tiring. Sorry to captain for making her fall a few times lol. I think she too light ah, cannot stop her well. But well it was fun. But realy realy tiring. The last part I was too tired to even slow down properly. First time blade until cannot wait to take off.

So we strolled back to Hongzhis house after that. I think he is really a good host. He allowed us to bathe at his house and stuff so it was more refreshed after that. Stupid Kopi finally made his appearance. It seemed he was there alone at the house a for a while. Hahas. So after that it was abit more of PS3-ing, watching night at the museum and mahjonging.

BBQ after that. I think it was pretty successful though it wasnt full attendence. 5 did not turn up. But the food was just nice enough and it was pretty edible! Lol. Had lots of fun lah. Anyway it is already amazing that we could have a BBQ in these holidays while other classes would be mugging away.

More mahjong and games and exploring Hongzhis house. And then there was cake for June babies! This year sadly we were missing one. So just 3 of us. Ronald always seems to know how to zhao yeah? Last year never dio cream this year also never. = ="

And then it was time to leave ah. Around 11 plus. Anyway, like to thank Hongzhi and his family for their hospitatlity. His mum is like always worrying if we have enough food. Hahas. And yeah also to the class for making time to come down and making it a success. And to the usual crazier bunch of us, thanks for the fun during studying, hangouts and stuff like that. Love you guys. =)

No pictures yet. Class photographer havent blog. Lazy gurl! =x

This holidays has been rather fun looking back. I think I did alot of things I wanted to do. Like swim, blade and stuff like that. Maybe could have studied more but no time for regrets. Now then, time to chiong to the end right? Good luck everyone for the Mid Year Exams. Jiayou jiayou jiayou for these 2 weeks to come!

2007-06-20T18:46:00.000+08:00

Hey! Today is another day to celebrate. ~~I am eighteen years and six days old.~~ Its bang bangs birthday! So here goes.

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY SHUTING!^!!

Now that you are eighteen, you can buy alcohol and you can smoke. But thats not very healthy isnt it? Never mind. You can watch MORE movies ~~with LY~~. Yeah just the last age barrier to break. =)

Anyway, the above paragraph is mostly crap.

Hmms. Eighteen le cannot be so blur le. Though I doubt we will see a difference. Fancy not seeing a cake with a lighted candle right under your nose. Oh well. Thats what makes you special I guess.

So once again happy birthday to my fellow june baby.

Hmms. I think bowling really needs more recognition. Yesterday I was wearing 2006s black bowling tee and the security guard was scrutinising my shirt for a MJC sign before waving me on. LIKE HELLO! I DONT NEED THAT MAN! SLAP HIS FACE! Then again do I look like I can plant a bomb? MJC is a bad location even if what. What will killing muggers do. = ="

Looking forward to Friday pretty alot. 06S202 BBQ! And blading! Hope it doesnt rain. And more games on Hongzhis PS3. Super fun. Woohoo! What else can I look forward to?

One more day of mugging to go. =) & =(

2007-06-18T21:15:00.000+08:00

Oh me oh my. First day of the week. First day of mugging of the week. And I think I am falling sick. Drats. And I was supposed to do some of the reading through at night, like chemistry or econs. Guess not now.

Probably going to sleep early and tomorrow will be a better day I hope.

Now is not the time. =(

2007-06-17T21:16:00.000+08:00

Finally got my new lenses today. So finally there is no more patches on my glasses. It is not much of a problem actually but I guess its better gone than there. So clearer vision now. I think its kind of wierd how my eyes can be 100 degrees apart. I am sure i use both eyes to see most of the time. Lol. Oh well.

And yeah I sent my watch for repair too. Luckily the repair is FOC but I am not sure when I will be getting it back. What happened to it? Oh yeah. Sort of dropped it one too many times and the whole glass cracked. I guess its tampered glass so the pieces didn fall out. It is sort of like a windscreen spiderwebbing after something falls upon it. Not pretty at all. And that happened exactly three months since I got possesion of it. I must take better care yeah?

So thats two thing settled. Just my mp3 player to service left. I wonder when that will be? I am so short of time now. I guess the day I pick up my watch will be the day I do my zen then.

I suddenly got a new perspective. I think some things should be better left the way they are. Contentment I call it. If one does not expect more, one would be very much a happier person. For there would be no yearning and no disappointment. And it would be easier to sustain ones smile. So live for the moment. When its time to be happy, be happy. When its just zero, leave it and be optimistic. Let things take its natural flow. I guess thats the way things should be.

So I will be just hanging around then.

Till you are ready.

2007-06-16T17:59:00.000+08:00

Its one more week to the end of the holidays. I am worried. Actually, I am just avoiding of the use of the word panic because everytime I see that word, it sends a tinge of adrenaline down my bloodstream. But yes, I am pretty much in a state of panic.

I am super messed up now. I cant even find my examination timetable to allow me to prioritise. My chemistry notes are in a mess. And that is the topic I hardly touched, except for organic. I cant really recall what other parts of chemistry there is either. Mole, redox, gases, bonding, organic, thermal and periodicity? I guess there must be more. Really, how the hell do you squeeze all this into 4 weeks?

Maths can be finished I guess, physics perhaps. I am going to rush through econs this weekend, somehow. Though I havent touched a page of it. What I really need now is that bloody timetable. And all the topics of all the subjects. At least I can get an idea of where I really stand then. But I just cant find anything. I need help I guess.

And its always when the troubles come in that all of them come together. I guess its time to let go. Really. But its not that easy again isnt it? It just doesnt seem to be headed anywhere. I am lost.

6 more full days of studying left. Shuting's birthday and class bbq. End of holidays. Save me.

2007-06-15T20:39:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was my 18th birthday. And I had a super duper one. Happy lah. Thanks people.

So for the fun of it, I decided to list out the people who wished me in order of timing after 12am, 14th June. I know some of you wished me before 12am but yeah get in queue. Hahas. Here goes.

1)Liong
2)Terence Teo
3)Fred
4)LY
5)Vonn
6)XiaoVonn
7)Hong Zhi
8)Bang^2
9)Lixian
10)Jun Gang
11)Yong Huang
12)Faizal
13)Derrick
14)Janet
15)Ben Chow
16)Huiling
17)Mr Gohel
18)Nick
19)Edward

Is your name there? If what, what are you waiting for? Hahas. Not many I know but I happy can?

Okay so what did I do? Actually nothing much lah. Some chilling in the day at Kens place. Then we went for dinner at fish and co at glasshouse. Okay lah I sound suagu but hey its my first time there. Lol. I think its a pretty nice place. Good ambience, live band, and good food. It was a very nice dinner lah. Just good time with good friends. And yeah the fish and co birthday ritual. = ="

I think I will let the pictures do the talking instead.

And I was very touched that they had something prepared for me at home too.

Some of my presents.

Once again would like to thank Kenneth, Jungang, Terence, Fred, LY, Yonghuang, the 2 Yvonnes, Shuting and Huiling for sharing this day with me. And extra thanks to Kenneth for doing the invites. Love you guys =)

Once again happy birthday to me!! XD

2007-06-14T00:09:00.000+08:00

ER HEM!

This is a special post for a very special person.

ME!!!

IM 18!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!

~~Tomorrow~~ Today will be great. Looking forward to it =)

I dont know what got over you but I will forget about it and I hope you will too.

2007-06-13T21:09:00.001+08:00

Okay this is not much a post. Just some random ramblings.

I got my purple moving rubber today. And I paid only $6.95. Its like sold at $8.80 at Watsons lah. Thanks to my sister for the tip off. So guys, the place is Venus beauty, basement of White Sands. It sounds like a girls shop but yeah they sell Gatsby too. Lol.

And I finally got my first birthday presents from my sister. Some accessories and stuff. But I really like it and appreciate the fact she bothered to find the random necklace I was talking about. The last Campus Superstar judge was wearing something similar on the first episode. Lol. Really sweet of her. Thanks.

And just out of curiosity, I found out that I was born on a Wednesday, 18 years minus one day back. I think I was talking about it with my family the other day. So yah. Lol.

Okay thats it I guess, nothing else to random about. Lol. And yeah LY should try to tune down the volume of Dragostea Din Tei in his mp3 player. =x

2007-06-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

I visited the dentist today. It was probably my first time going by my own, but it was very much the same anyway. I only screwed up in giving the receptionist the appointment card. I just couldnt see where to put it. But whether its with the parents or by yourself is no different. The moment you lie upon that horrible chair, the world is shut off and you are by yourself again.

The experience doesn improve with age. It still remains the same. I feel like I am writing some composition I read back in primary school. Haha. But yeah here goes. You lie upon the hard chair lined up with gadgets that do not appear the least bit friendly. Then the dentist picks up one of the tools, the one with the terrible noise, and asks you to open your mouth. And she begins to do her work.

With every movement of her hands, you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into the cold hard chair, no where to run, no where to hide. It was as she was attacking every vessel in your gums, the occupational sadistic nature in her erupting as she broke every artery and they began to spur out fresh red blood. And she kept going.

It wasnt so bad actually. I just felt like exagarrating. =x It was a mere 5 minutes. And the dentist was nice and smiley. Haha. Actually I am pretty lucky, I dont really care for my teeth but yeah I got a nice set. No fillings, no decays. Just weak gums. But yup. And my next appointment is set next year. That will be pretty long. Whoopee.

Before that, went with Kenneth LY and Fred to buy some stuff. LY was early today surprisingly while the rest were late. It is quite amazing who you can see in half and hour of hanging around Tampines interchange. How about 1/3 of the girls in your class? Okay lah its just two but yeah saw Bang and Capt Ris. Haha.

Oh and we saw Fantastic Four life in action. Its damm funny. There was only Mr Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, Silver Surfer and Doctor Doom. The difference between their skills? None. They all just jump and throw punches and kicks. Oh wow. And a very funny remark by Kenneth : I can see Invisible Woman! And the lamest thing is how they defeat Dr Doom. Its like the kids shout something, then suddenly the four of them raise one hand in the air, and proceed to carry Doctor Doom back stage. Wow. Its fun to be a kid really. They kid you all the time. And we saw the Fantastic Four and friends later, in not so fantastic shape taking the escalator. I wonder if the kids will recognise them. Lol. =x

Went to play mahjong at Kennies house later. I heard my mum isnt too proud of me playing mahjong. But I seriously dont see the harm since no money involved? It is just like daidee or some other card game. I dont see the point. Shrugs.

Then it was dinner and we sat there pretty long talking about life before JC. Not bad, guys talk. It is really quite rare in JC that you get guys time, so yeah, appreciate it. =)

Countdown: 2 days XD

2007-06-11T21:32:00.000+08:00

Half of the holidays have gone by now. And I am not half through my revision. It seems a pretty desperate case actually. Im making good progress on mathematics, but other than that, I am stuck on physics and chemistry has forever been organic. I dont know where econs comes in.

But yeah, more haste less speed. Shouldnt panic now. But well, time to plan something out soon. Like a more compromised revision plan? Oh well. I see about it.

Then again, this week seems pretty exciting. I wonder if I can concentrate. Hehes.

Anyway, just like to say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICK!!!

May all your wishes come true. And yeah be happy! =)

Hey somebody elses birthday is coming up. I wonder whose. =x

2007-06-10T22:34:00.000+08:00

Slept real late today. Sort of sensed my brother coming home from camp and going to sleep, so I just felt like sleeping somemore. Had some wierd dreams that I dont really recall. But finally pulled myself out of bed around noon. Didn want to waste the whole day away.

To no avail. I ate. Then I hit the com. No mood to mug today. I guess the results of oversleeping already started to get to me. Headache and running nose. Craps.

Went out near evening to make new lenses for my spectactles. Finally no more scratched lenses, in one weeks time. Yay. And my degree was pretty the same. But my running nose had become so bad my eyes were watering. I was sure my eyesight would become worse from the red eyes but nope, no link I guess. Why does everyone seem to be trying contacts? Lol. My sis tried today. It seems quite alright for her. But we will see.

Went to eat Breeks for dinner. My first time there. Not bad at all. Maybe my sis is right, my parents are become more hip the eating places. But then again, it is probably the long queue at Swensens. Lol.

Mugging resumes tomorrow. I hope. My nose is running like shit now. I hope I will be okay tomorrow. If what I may just go there and disturb the rest. =x Make me well!

2007-06-09T20:45:00.001+08:00

Today was a pretty retarded day. My right double eyelid decided to see some light and make and appearance, which irritated me the whole day, giving me headaches and what nots. So I only managed to study dynamics and do the MCQ questiosn related to that.

After that the folks went to my da yis place so I decided to go swim. But the headaches and stuff got worse so I had to rest a while. But I am glad I did swim, cause it made my eyelid retract back in. Finally. Lol. But I think I got abit burnt.

And thats how I got through my Saturday.

Anyway, I noticed I havent posted pictures in a very very very long time. So just for cheers.

random shot while walking to downtown east

LY and his birthday present ^^

shot along orhard road

shot outside national stadium after soccer finals

shots of the ferris wheel from the car today

Thats it. Mostly scenery. And random nothings. Enjoy.

2007-06-09T12:20:00.000+08:00

Went for army NS medical checkup yesterday. I think I was pretty lucky to have 7 other classmates to go with me. The things to come were pretty expected, since I have long heard lots about it. But it wasn that bad. If you are not scared of needles and pricking. But the computer test was terrible lah. Terribly long and boring. Oh well. At least its over.

I dreamt of us last night.

Went to Katong with Kenneth, Jungang, LY and Yonghuang to meet the rest, Yvonne, Bang and Fred. We got lost along the way, taking a bus to Bukit Merah, which wasnt Redhill MRT at all. But in the end we took 16 from there and I think it was faster than the MRT. So yay. It worked out. Anyway, with girls there, what we do there was pretty expected. Moreover bowling wasnt open or something, or so I heard. So we ended up singing in a room for 2 hours lah. Oh ya, actually Terence came for a while. Then he left. I wonder where to =x. And the small Yvonne was there too but left for something.

I tell myself I no longer bother but it seems otherwise.

Went for dinner after that. The small Yvonne came back and Huiling and Lixian joined us as well. The initial plan for Sakura from weeks back was cancelled due to the steep pricing. So we ended up at Jack's Place. A bit cheaper eh. Okay lah, for noveltys sake. I realised I have never gone here before. Lol. Its actually more for couples that sort of thing, with the dim lighting and candles and stuff but oh well. Lol. Anyway got some families inside also, so ya. Quite okay.

Sometimes I think of being direct but I have my apprehensions.

I knew I should have went home after that, but went to pool for a while. And reached home late. Shouldnt go home late too often. Always make people wait up. Oh well. I will try.

Where do I go from here?

Its 5 days to a special day. I wonder if anyone will even celebrate it with me. =x

2007-06-05T21:45:00.000+08:00

Today went pretty well. It was more fun than I expected. Went to swim with Terence, Jungang and LY. I swam the most I ever had in my whole life. It was only 22 laps but I think its not bad for the first time I even attempted to swim a lap in the competition size pool. Lol. But now I am super tired. Wonder what pains await me tomorrow. =x

After that, went to meet up with the rest to play pool. Was quite good at the starting. Then I slowly deflated like a balloon. Until I kept missing every shot. Lol. Too tired maybe.

Bus 15 is a stupid bus. Took super duper long. Made me come home late. And it didn even reach my side of Pasir Ris. = ="

Going to study in school tomorrow. Was quite fruitful yesterday. Hope that it be good again tomorrow. One day of fun. One day of work. Here we go.

Perhaps it was only a beautiful dream on my part, to be forgotten. Back to one.

2007-06-03T16:25:00.000+08:00

Today has been quite interesting. Went to the American Club on invitation of my uncle. Somehow, Sundays have become maternal-side family gatherings. =x But today was much better than last week, despite me being sleepy and all from sleeping late last night. Was watching that Jack Neo show, san1 ge4 hao3 ren2. Super lame the ending, where people retardedly take out yellow ribbons and start shaking them, smiling cheesily alongside. Okay anyway back to today.

Began with brunch. The spread there was really good. Like got Chinese and Indian cuisine, and the western breakfast stuff, the Italian stuff like pasta and pizza, and lots and lots of desert. Its really so much that for once I didn try everything at a buffet. Lol. Super duper full. Cheesecake there was good. =)

After that, went down to the bowling alley for games. 8 lanes, reminds me of CBC. =x But no super oily lanes here, was pretty cocked up the oiling. Damm lousy. Only had one decent game. But yeah its a nice place to bowl. Private. Except for the birthday party for that kiddo that was happening today. =x Hmms, I dont know if I can bowl long term anymore. It seems my forth finger always swell every time after bowling. Then quite pain. Maybe I should relax more. But its so not me. Oh well.

So now I am home. Maybe the folks will be bringing Lele to the park later. Can go blade a while maybe. Hehes.

Clubs seem quite fun. As in not Zouk and MOS lah, the club clubs, whatever I am trying to say. Like quite prestigious and you feel quite pampered and respected. Lol. But then again, theres quite a bit of socialising going on there, not exactly my favourite. But hey, maybe I can consider working hard to get a membership one day. Lol. Whatever.

2007-06-02T21:33:00.000+08:00

I hate it when you have something to settle but you can only settle it after a certain time period. Most of the times I rather it over and done with. But in some cases it cant be helped. The mid-year examinations fall comfortably in this category. You cant rush it to come, yet it is there, constantly bugging you, and reminding you its there.

Shout the word holiday and echoes that sound abrubtly different return. Echoes that sound like the phrase study-break. The June holiday is destroyed due to this unwanted term attached along to it. No matter what you plan to do, there is always the question in your mind. Should you rather be studying?

And it takes the fun out of everything. Everytime you have fun, you return home feeling guilty that you might have been studying instead. Yet when you try to study alone at home, you find yourself unable to focus much, and the question changes. What if you had used that time to play instead? Indeed the opportunity cost of every activity becomes more prominent now, the constraint of time making us sensitive to it.

Theres just so much you want to do on one hand, all the fun stuff. Yet on the other, your sense of responsibility bugs you, the responsibility of being a student. How is it possible to squeeze all this into the period of a month? And on top of that, you are unable to control unexpected circumstances. That makes it just more difficult to manage your time. Anyone else with time issues? Hmmm.

=============================================

The holidays is a good time to catch up with friends from outside of school. Your secondary school friends, the good old friends. You finally find time to break out of the tiring cycle of schoolwork when you could only squeeze time to hang out with those friends from class. I guess that is one good thing about the holidays. Are we going to meet up soon? Faizal, Denan, Phira and Edward. The good old timers.

But now that you are free to meet up with the external people, do you find yourself drifting away from those guys at class instead? Going out just seems so difficult now. Everything is just so official. Advanced booking needed. No more impromptu stuff. It really tests your sense of initiative. And I dont have much of that. That may explain why I am home so often. =x In addition to that, there is difficulty in asking people out sometimes. I somehow have the feeling that I will be always second in line, especially to those people with commitments to other people. I somehow feel that everyone just has their plans already. And it really does seem a long time since we last met up, although it has just been 4 days.

=============================================

Oh well. I have released some of the pent up emotions I have inside. So now its time to be optimistic again. Perhaps the time issues and the meeting up with people issue will be settled when I finally get some people to group study. That will take my mind off stuff I guess.

On a lighter note, has anyone noticed? Its 12 days to a very special day! XD

Was that just a dream to fade away?

2007-06-01T20:10:00.000+08:00

I thought I was going to stay home today. There was no people, all missing in action or busy. There was the afternoon rain, throwing a wet blanket upon my plans. But in the end the sun shone, and I went bowling. But it was just me and Shawn.

Not bad today I guess. I hit 2 190 games so I am pretty happy, though I could have been more consistent. =S Shawn is on spin mode now. Still getting back the hang of it I guess. But already not bad. Hahas. His new ball looks nicer hooking though. =x Okay la not bad. At least took away the boredom of the day.

Oh yeah. Met Daryl there. And so he joined us to play 2 games. Hahas. Small world. Or is it just that Kovan is a good place to meet bowlers? Met Jonathan there the last time I went too. =x

I should begin studying shouldn I? Already 5 days of the holidays down the drain. And I only redone my partial fractions tutorial today. Maybe I should skip some of the maths topics, cause I dont see much point in doing some chapters. Maybe jump on to something more exciting like AP and GP. Interesting cause I dont know anything much about it. Or maybe I should do chem. Hmms. I should just get started.

Maybe I can get people out in school next week to mug hardcore. That may work. Hmms.

2007-06-01T10:14:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was one retarded day. Woke up to find the internet connections in my house problematic. Plus I got some running nose due to sleeping too long in aircon. This adds up to one bad day. Really nothing to do at home without internet and the running nose doesn exactly improve things eh?

In the end I decided to go my aunts place to swim with my sister. Thought maybe can help improve the breathing too. Well it did lah. I was feeling much better in the pool. Swam lots. Okay lah. Seems like more than the other day. And so I happy happy headed off.

But shucks. About half an hour later, the whole syndrome returned ah. And it worsened. Running nose,watering eyes, yada yada. And internet was only returned to one computer. So I didn bother to scramble with the siblings. But I couldnt really sleep either. Evantually I did, wrapping up my bad day.

Well it seems everything about the internet is settled now. And I wake up feeling better and healthier, but pain from swimming. Lol. Abit. Had a random dream about how the new CCA excos were very close to each other, abit like house comm. Having their own big room on the second floor of the sports block. And yeah, bowling even had their own sitting area somewhere else, just for them. Thats when I realised it was a dream. Lol. But oh well, I guess that was what I truly wanted, more recognition for us bowlers. But it wont happen this year I guess.

Keep dreaming.

2007-05-29T22:22:00.000+08:00

A very retarded me couldnt sleep last night. I ended up with a very tired me today. The mind was tired, the body was tired, and there were muscle pains. Crap. On exam day. Fantastic.

I guess paper one was fine. I played safe abit, wrote a very standard essay, no funny expressions, but tried to make it super long. 4 SVs, 3 OVs. And yes I didn use the word of the day. Tried to substantiate more. Hope it will get me a better grade. =S Paper two was havoc lah. Perhaps I was too tired but I could figure it was a difficult paper lah. Just tried to finish it up to the best of my capabilities.

Went to meet up with an old friend after exam. Was okay lah, the long time no see usuals. But i wished that we were doing something more interesting instead. Being the freaking tired me, I needed something to perk me up more. But ya lah exams more important, so never mind lah. Tried to study econs to the best of my abilities. Ended up using her labtop more than often. = =" Oh well. At least I met up right? Hehes.

Need sleep now. Rawr!

2007-05-28T21:08:00.000+08:00

Today is a boring day. Come to think of it, the holidays have been boring since saturday. =x The only time I went out was on Sunday for lunch with the maternal side. The food sucked, the ambience sucked, the table positioning sucked and the conversation wasn so interesting, if you know what I mean.

And so back to today. Didn go out today because I was too busy playing game last night to plan anything, until 12 plus, so by then everyone was offline and I couldnt be bothered lah. The plan to wake up earlier today to see if I could snag anyone didn turn out well also since I woke up like close to noon and then I couldnt be bothered and decided to settle those few hours at home. So it was mostly tv and computer, and a very bored me. And cloudy headed from all the excess sleep. Oh well, at least its over now.

Tomorrow is going to be better I think. Without the GP paper and the econs lecture. The class people is going to watch Pirates of the Carribean 3 I think. So it wont be boring. And I hope the trend will continue. But then again theres much of mixed feelings about this holiday. Kind of the shit that the mid-years are after this lah. And like some people have put it. 4 weeks, 4 subjects. Means this week is not for play. And I haven got my mind down to anything. But I dont want it to be all work. This holidays are for more than that. But then its our responsibility as students I guess. Perhaps I should start some study group thing going lah. So I can study, and play at the same time. At least abit? And I wont be cooped up at home. See about it.

Talking about GP, I haven really prepared. =( I tried. Really did this time. But it just seemed so purposeless. I need statistics. Not articles. Just to substantiate some of those speculations I make in my essays. But not very fruitful. Zzz. But its abit late to do anything now. Believe in myself. Thats what I can do. And sleep early? Lol. Anyway, the word of the day for tomorrow is innuendo. It is really hard to fit in anywhere I think. It just suddenly popped up in my head a few days ago. But I doubt I will use it. Just for fun. = ="

Hope the paper will be fine.

2007-05-25T23:24:00.000+08:00

I started off my holidays in style. Its what you can call a almost perfect start to the holidays. The sun and the water, all at Bedok Swimming Complex! Okay, not so impressive after all. Lack the sand and sea, and the sea breeze, but well there was some wind. Hahas. But at least I thought that this is one of my best holiday starts in quite a while.

So today was a guys day out lah. Went with LY and Jungang to swim. Hahas. Maybe I abit sao xing lah. Cause I suck at swimming and scared I drown in the big big pool. So we ended up swimming in the 1m pool. = =" Beginner level 1 what. What to do? =x But I think I should really train my stamina someday. Really sucks. Lol. Few times up and down and I am tired. But yeah, I think its good exercise. Plus I think I got a tan. =)

After that headed to Bedok KFC for lunch. We waited there for a pretty long time lah. Cause had to meet up with other guys and they were late. Nick, Liong, Fred and Bernard joined us to go mahjong at Terence place. A bit suai today ah. Bought the meal, then carried back to table, then drink spilled. Super malu. =( But the Cheesy BBQ thingy was not bad, though abit salty I think.

So after that went to mahjong. Terence father was very nice. Give us alot of things to eat. Hehe. After we played enough, went to eat dinner at Tampines. Nick left. But we went to meet Bang first to borrow bicycle. Then shun bian go eat with us. So due to the many many delays, I think I came home abit late and Mums not very happy. So I guess I have to scrap my cycling plan tomorrow. =( Oh well. Should have know better. But its the holidays right?

Heres my holiday to do list again. I added something new.

~~1)Go do some cycling~~
2)Go rollerblading
~~3)Go swimming~~
~~4)Get my tan back~~ (Provided I dont peel =S)
5)And perhaps some toning?
6)Watch Pirates of the Carribean 3
7)Meet with sec school boys
8)More class time =)
*9)Learn more songs on the guitar*
10)Have a happy birthday (okay maybe not before studies, will be too late =x)

Hoho. So did I say today was a fun day? I think the thing that stand out is that today was one of the successful guys only outing. It is somehow in our class that outings revolve around the girls. Maybe because there are only so few of them that they are precious. Hahas. But guys only can be fun too. No worries, no restrictions, just pure indulgence. Lets have more okay?

2007-05-23T20:56:00.000+08:00

I finally got hit by the disappointment today. I had never realli felt it on the previous 3 days of competition, only influenced by the rest at most. But today was pretty different. I got hit by a complete wave of it in the midst of my last game. And it was bad, so bad I wanted to give up. And perhaps I did partially, cause that score was terrible. Unmentionable.

I guess its a consolation its over. Although I would very much want to redo everything again. And hope I would do better. But then again, the odds are against me. Bad lanes that I still have no idea how to read. Poor sparing skills. Unable to handle the stress. So I guess I should just be glad its over, and put it all behind. But I am over the disappointment I guess. I am not going to quit bowling lah. Going to hide in the mountains and train new skill. Lol. And come back when I am ready. Grr.

Theres so much more to look forward to. Like the whole month of ~~mugging break~~ holidays. So much that I can do. All thats left standing between me and that paradise is 2 periods of physics tutorial, 1 maths lecture, 2 periods of chemistry tutorial and 1 compass principal talk. It seems like eternities to me. =( Hahas.

Cant wait. What are we going to do this Friday?

Then again, am I really letting go so easily as I said? Why do I stil feel upset?

2007-05-22T20:16:00.000+08:00

Boats drifting in the sea of fate, thats what we are. Hopelessly paddling, striving for destinations, yet evantually just being played around by the waves and the wind. Its kind of pathetic aint it, how helpless we can be at times. Helpless and hapless. After drifting in the sea for times that know no bound, we finally see shore, and we struggle to paddle towards it, with all of our strength, yet when we are down to the final 100m, the wind suddenly changes direction, and it blows in an opposing direction to us. We fight on, yet it is too strong, and we can only look longingly at the shore, so near yet so far.

What is wrong with this? Some of you may ask. Being able to see must mean you are closer to your goal. Yet you are often reminded of your disappointment as well. How your many attempts at reaching shore had been fruitless once and again. It does get tiring. It does. And it doesn make you afraid. Afraid that one day, you might give up hope on land altogether. You dont want that to happen so much, you know what land holds for you, but it just looms bleakly in the days to come. Sometimes being able to see but not hold is the most painful position to be in. To be in the balance, neither here nor there. You do not get the full advantages of each side, but get the disadvantages of both.

And in situations like this, the mind turns into your worst enemy, as it focuses on the cons, overlooking the pros that come occasionally. An example would be the additional pain, to be able to see but not do anything. Imagine if you can see your beloved house upon the shore. But unfortunately, your house is being looted. You see the dark figure sneaking in and out of your home, taking away what is precious to you. Yet you cannot do anything because of your position. Yet you feel the hurt, the agony, and curse the police for not being able to see it happening. But evantually you realise that all you can do is to surpress it all and pretend you never knew anything.

Its occurences like these, that wear you out. That makes you wonder why you are so foolish, to long for what you may be impossible to reach. Makes you wonder why would you put yourself through such a torment. Makes you feel like giving up. When you no longer desire anything, there would be self satisfaction and contentment, and none of this pain that you are going through. It gets more and more tempting.

Yet are you really able to give up? Deep inside, you are still secretly wishing for it to happen. What if one day, the wind decides to blow you to shore without you even trying? Would you then regret that you gave up on land? Would you feel stupid for giving up everything you could have just for the temporary relief? Would you feel saddened when you see people walking around with the riches of the land that you could have had yourself?

I am not giving up. I will wait for the wind.

Yet all I could do was to watch your back as you walked away, with only disappointment left in that cold lonely place.

2007-05-21T21:00:00.000+08:00

Heh heh. I think I am abit mad today. Hopped out on my bike the moment I got home and took a ride to Tanah Merah and back, under 2 hours. Well I was there to just pick my sister up lah, okay accompany her back on her ride since she wasn feeling that awesome. I think I could have been faster lah, but oh well, I havent been riding for a pretty long time, so yeah, one of my wishes fulfilled. But come to think of it I should have thought about tomorrow being a competition day. Hahas. Oh well, what done is done.

Looking further down this week, it looks like only one econs lecture on Wednesday and a truncated timetable for Thursday left. Yippee. My super short school week is substantiating. And with such good fortune, I am hopelessly drifting into holiday mood. Hahas. And so I decided to create a list of stuff I want to do this holiday before getting down to studies.

~~1)Go do some cycling~~
2)Go rollerblading
3)Go swimming
4)Get my tan back
5)And perhaps some toning?
6)Watch Pirates of the Carribean 3
7)Meet with sec school boys
8)More class time =)
9)Have a happy birthday (okay maybe not before studies, will be too late =x)

Hahas thats all for now. I add on if I think of more. It starting to look alot like HOLIDAYS!! XD

2007-05-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

Argh weekends. Its an irony why I look forward to it sometimes. Cause when I set foot upon this land amongst the blue waters of school days, I find myself on a deserted island with nothing to do at all. Deserted island called home. Where coconuts are like my computer and wild fruit my television. And theres homework like building a raft. You know that building this raft is going to be beneficial, brings you hope to ride more easily out to sea on the next low tide, but you are just infested with laziness and can only choose to lie on the beach, eating coconuts and wild fruit, till the next tide sweeps you out to sea again. And the cycle repeats itself.

So I figured it out. Only look forward to the weekends if you had already planned something for any of the two days. Sadly, this weekend is one of the no plan weekends, and no plan weekends are just sad, and boring, and lonely. =(

But then again, I am already half through it arent I? And next week is going to be fantastic. I figured that the finals of soccer is really going to be on Thursday. So my hopes of a only one full day week might just be fulfilled soon. Yippee. But Man is greedy aint he? Now I am considering ponning Monday. So I wont have to trifle with any homework tomorrow. None of it. No physics or chemistry tutorials that I had tried today and got stuck at the very first questions. No GP comprehension that I am sick and tired of. And no need for that ~~love letter~~ ~~apology letter~~ (what was that again?) to Ms Sathya. All for not completing that comprehension. And it just carries on its torture. I should have ended it there and then. Stupid stupid me. Why dont all things happened like in a cartoon? I thought that the teacher might actually suggest a field trip instead and cancel that assignment. Sure. But yeah ponning Monday is strictly only a consideration. It will never happen I guess. I am a good boy. =x

So since that is the case, back to the homework I guess. Damm the homework. Give me some motivation to get it done. Teach me how to do it. Encourage me. Tell me its easy. Tell me I am smart. Whatever. Just motivate me. Argh!

2007-05-18T21:11:00.001+08:00

Its the weekends again. This week has been a short one I guess, yet it seems more tiring, but definitely more fun. Just one more week to the holidays where all havoc can be let loose then. Well to some extent I guess. Lols. As the mid years continue to loom around the corner. =(

Thursday was the second day of the A divisions. What can I say? Underperformed I guess. Could have done much better. But I saw it late. And I guess I could not handle the pressure too. And boo to funny lane conditions once again. Whats up with changing so quickly on that day? Dont want to say anymore. Not going to explicitly publicise my lousy scores too.

Went to watch Pirates of The Carribean 1 and 2 in the school library after school. Never watched it before. =x Wasn too bad I guess. We were damm lucky to get the sofa. The malay librarian told us to get it just as we entered so haha yayness! But it wasn very comfortable either lah. We still had to lean on the wall so had back aches and stuff. Hahas. But nevertheless was a more interesting Friday afternoon than what I had for the last 2 weeks. =)

And yay! MJ won SA at the penalties. Which means we be going to the finals. Which means half day to watch match plus day off to celebrate. I hope it be on next Thursday and Friday. Hahas. Dont know when are the finals yet. We be meeting RJ so maybe better chance to win? Maybe. But yeah if its really Thursday and Friday, means I will only attend full day school on Monday. How cool is that? Going to be the coolest last week in school. Hahas.

Looking forward to the week to come. And yeah its probably time to at least try do homework for Mondays lessons? Trying. Im still tired. Hahas.

Isnt it tiring, hanging in the balance? Forever guessing, and guessing. Hmms.

2007-05-14T20:13:00.000+08:00

Hehes. Okay lets be honest. I screwed up in todays round of competition. Lanes were inverse if that is what you call it. Outside oily, inside dry, and my diagonal line was just too inconsistent. I found another straight line later but once you are out of the region, your shot is gone, but I guess lower risk? Well at least I got something out of today, that is understand such an oiling pattern slightly better. 143.67 average today. 151 144 138 147 151 131. I am not exactly disappointed or upset. But I am looking forward to the next round. Looking forward to more hope, and do my best there. Restart on a clean slate. Thats the way to go right?

Other than that, I think today was rather fun. Time with the team and stuff. And the first 3 periods in school were a waste of time since I was counting down to the end the moment it started. Good thing no lessons on Thursday. Haha. Exco interviews tomorrow. I aint going easy on you guys. Any suggestions to killer questions? Muahahahaha!

But damm I am feeling hell of tired now. How am I going to study for that physics test? I need some motivation! RAWR!

2007-05-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the day. I am ready. But suddenly, nerves get to me. Yikes. Its not a sense of fear or doubt. It is just excitement. The anticipation. And its giving me butterflies in the tummy. Lols. How am I going to sleep tonight. I cant really sit still now.

Just like to wish the team all the best again.

Nerves. =S

2007-05-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

4 days to competition. I think I finally feel it. The adrenaline and the excitement. But most importantly, the readiness. I never felt more ready. Its time to take out some pins. All the way man. To MJC bowlers, we have worked so hard. Its finally time to take our stage. Believe in your teammates. Support your teammates. But more importantly, believe in yourselves. And support yourselves all the way. Dont feel discouraged. Every day may seem like the longest but we will make it through, all four days, keep our spirits up! Just want to wish each and everyone of you all the best and lets do MJC proud!

Hahas. This week is really getting better isnt it? It is just going to get better. I am going to leave this dump behind. Look forward, to better brighter days. =)